19th Jul 2019
Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming - S7-E9
Chief Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who, uh, eats people and takes their faces?
Guy Who Eats People and Takes Their Faces: I'm right here, Chief.
Chief WIggum: Oh. Then where's Sideshow Bob?
Prisoner: Eh, he ran off.
Chief Wiggum: Oh great! Well if anyone asks, uh, I beat him to death. Okay?
Officer Lou: Right.
19th Jul 2019
Cape Feare - S5-E2
Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. [Gallery laughs] Oh, now I get it. Ah ha ha, that's good.
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Blue-haired Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now? [A few people raise their hands] Be honest. [Everyone raises their hands, including Patty]
Patty: Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Robert, if released would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hell-hole.
Parole Board Member #1: Uh, we object to the term "urine-soaked hell-hole" when you could have said "pee-pee-soaked heck-hole."
Sideshow Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Well what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die Bart, Die?"
Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for "The Bart, The."
Parole Board Member #3: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
Parole Board Member #2: Parole granted.
19th Jul 2019
19th Jul 2019
I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot - S15-E9
Robot Rumble Announcer #2: And the winner is nature's greatest killing machine, man! [Audience boos.] Show me where in the rule book that it says a human can't be a robot.
Robot Rumble Announcer #1: Right here: Rule 1.
19th Jul 2019
I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot - S15-E9
Robot Rumble Announcer #1: There's no love lost between these emotionless devices.
19th Jul 2019
19th Jul 2019
17th Jul 2019
Revealing mistake: There are numerous episodes where Mike is recording a video for Outdoor Man with his webcam, and a status bar is advancing towards the end of the video, indicating that the live recordings were added to the video stream in post production and synced up to the original performance.
20th Jun 2019
Question: Why do only certain characters have last names?
Answer: It has to do with cultural differences. Some cultures in Middle Earth, like the Hobbits, use a family name (Frodo Baggins), others use a single name, followed by where they're from (Legolas of the Woodland Realm). Still others use the name of the father (Aragorn, son of Arathorn/Gimli, son of Gloin). Finally there are characters that use only a single name because they are of such standing that no other identification is necessary (Gandalf, Sauron, Sauruman), etc. These characters generally follow the name with a particular characteristic (Gandalf the Grey), and frequently have multiple names in different regions (Gandalf is known by many names).
Answer: The Hobbits use family groupings and thus last names. Frodo uses the surname Underhill in Bree and is instantly asked about Underhills in the Shire. Humans use a variety of names but not surnames - Aragorn is the son of Arathorn and Theoden is just called Theoden son of Thengel, and noble people like Denethor and Boromir are said to be "of the House of Voronwe or House of Hurin" Elves are immortal and thus do not need family names. Dwarves use the same naming convention as Men. Even Smaug uses one name.
14th Jun 2019
31st May 2019
31st May 2019
Moe: Flaming Moe's.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name: Jass. First name: Hugh.
Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check. Uh, Hugh Jass. Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass.
Hugh Jass: I'm Hugh Jass.
Moe: Telephone.
Hugh Jass: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Bart: Uh, hi.
Hugh Jass: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson.
Hugh Jass: Well what can I do for you, Bart?
Bart: Uh, look. I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.
Hugh Jass: Alright, better luck next time [hangs up]. What a nice young man.
31st May 2019
24 Minutes - S18-E21
Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer. Who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? Uh, I'm Ahmed Adudi.
Jack Bauer: Chloe find out all you can about Ahmed Adudi. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adudi?
Chloe O'Brian: Ahmed Adudi: wealthy Saudi financier. Disappeared into Afghanistan in the late 90's.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No Jack, it's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Dammit!
31st May 2019
Mr. Burns: Must call Smithers. He'll protect me from this beast. I've seen people activate this machine a thousand times. Doesn't seem to be any trick to it. Let's see, Smithers [begins dialing], S-M-I-T-H-E-R-S. Success, it's ringing!
Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Mr. Burns: I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers. First name: Waylon
Moe: Oh, so you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Waylon, is it? Listen to me, you! When I catch you I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap out of you! Okay!? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!
31st May 2019
Bart: May I be excused, Mom?
Homer: Oh, so now you're quitting dinner too.
Marge: Homer, please.
Homer: I didn't raise him to be a quitter, Marge. It must have been you. You've quit every job you've had. Cop, pretzel vendor, church counselor, professional gambler.
Marge: He's doing what he thinks is best.
Homer: Well if quitting is the best, maybe I should just quit my job. [Picks up the phone and calls Mr. Burns.]
Mr. Burns: Ahoy-hoy.
Homer: Mr. Burns, this is Homer J. Simpson. The father of the big quitter. Well I just wanted to tell you I'm a big quitter too, and I quit [winks at phone].
Marge: Homer, Mr. Burns can't see you winking.
Homer: So? [Screams].
31st May 2019
Concertgoer #1: Oh, here comes that cannonball guy. He's cool.
Concertgoer #2: Are you being sarcastic, dude?
Concertgoer #1: I don't even know anymore.
31st May 2019
31st May 2019
Bart Gets an Elephant - S5-E17
Homer: Look at these bills: chains for elephant. Shots for elephant. Over-sized decorative poncho?
Bart: Technically it's for a giraffe, but I think I can let it out a little.
Homer: Well these bills will have to be paid out of your allowance.
Bart: You'll have to raise my allowance to about a thousand dollars a week.
Homer: Then that's what I'll do, smart guy.
31st May 2019
31st May 2019
Scenes From a Class Struggle in Springfield - S7-E14
Tom Kite: You know Homer, the traditional way to cheat in golf is to lower your score.
Homer: That's one way.
Tom Kite: Ha ha, I'm PGA Tour pro Tom Kite. How 'bout I give you a few pointers on your game? Now you don't want to overthink.
Homer: Not an issue.
Tom Kite: Keep your head down.
Homer: [Raises head] Huh?
Tom Kite: Pretend there's no-one else here. [Homer scratches his butt with the driver and then belches.] And just go at your own pace. [Homer hits the ball onto the green.] Wow, very impressive. You're a natural, Mr. Simpson.
Homer: Really?
Tom Kite: Uh huh. All you need is your own set of clubs. [Takes his clubs back from Homer.] And stay the hell out of my locker! You can keep the shoes.
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Answer: Most of the races and cultures in Middle Earth do not use what we would call in a modern setting a "full name", that is a given name followed by a family name. The Hobbits are the only race that does this regularly (i.e. Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, etc). Most of the other races use the more medieval "son of" when stating a formal full name (i.e. Aragorn son of Arathorn, Gimli son of Gloin, etc). To answer the question directly, most of the characters that don't have last names don't have them because last names are not used in their culture.
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