Richie Tozier: Go blow your dad, you mullet wearing asshole. (01:07:15)
Carey Mahoney: What are you in for?
Larvell Jones: I'll show you. [holds a microphone to his mouth and imitates gun fire causing everyone to drop to the floor.]
Desk Officer: GOD DAMN IT, STOP THAT.
Col. Nathan R. Jessep: Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.
You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you, " and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... And there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
Robin Hood: For my first order of business, I wish to appoint a new Sheriff of Rottingham. My friend, Achoo.
Achoo: All right.
Crowd: A black sheriff?
Blinkin: He's black?
Achoo: And why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.
Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka! I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.
Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copycat candy making cads?
Grandpa Joe: No, sir.
Willy Wonka: Then wonderful, welcome back.
Alfred: Why bats, Master Wayne?
Bruce Wayne: Bats frighten me. It's time my enemies shared my dread.
Frank Castle: I leave this as a declaration of intent. So no one will be confused. One. Si vis pacum para bellum. Latin. The boot camp Sergeant made us recite it like a prayer. Si vis pacum para bellum. If you want peace, prepare for war. Number two. Frank Castle is dead. He died with his family. Number three. In certain extreme situations, the law is inadequate. In order to shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act outside the law. To pursue natural justice. This isn't vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive, it's an emotional response. No. Not vengeance. Punishment.
Jake: The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch, and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.
Doc Holliday: Oh. Johnny, I apologize; I forgot you were there. You may go now.
Creasy: Okay, my friend. It's off to the next life for you. I guarantee you, you won't be lonely.
Beryl: Paranormal? Is that what they're calling your kind these days?
Otho: Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.
Isabella Swan: Everyone's staring.
Edward Cullen: No, not that guy. Oh wait, he looked.
Morpheus: You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
Kaecilius: How long have you been at Kamar-Taj, Mister..?
Dr. Stephen Strange: Doctor.
Kaecilius: Mister Doctor?
Dr. Stephen Strange: It's Strange.
Kaecilius: Maybe. Who am I to judge?
Lilo: It's sandwich day. Every Thursday I give Pudge the Fish a peanut butter sandwich. But, today we were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what to give him and she said a tuna sandwich. I can't give Pudge tuna! Do you know what tuna is? IT'S FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late because I had to go to the store and get peanut butter cause all we have is...is. Stinking tuna...Pudge controls the weather.
Mr. Landis: You can lose lots of money chasing women, but you will never lose women chasing money.
Jeffrey Pelt: Mr. Ryan, I'm a politician. Which means I'm a cheat and a liar and when I'm not kissing babies I'm stealing their lollipops.