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Barber: Now, don't you move. My hands aren't as steady as they used to be.
Thor: By Odin's Beard, you shall not cut my hair, lest you feel the wrath of the mighty Thor! [Barber turns on machine]. Please. Please, kind sir, do not cut my hair. Please! No! No!

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Grandmaster: I love when you come to visit, 142. You bring me the best stuff. Whenever we get to talking, Topaz, about Scrapper 142, what do I always say? "She is the..." and it starts with a "B."
Topaz: Trash.
Grandmaster: No, not trash. Were you waiting just to call her that? It doesn't start with a "B."
Topaz: Booze hag.

Bishop73

Raging Bender - S2-E12

Rich Little: The Vegas odds tonight stand at an unprecedented 1,000 to 0. A bet of $0 on Bender pays $1,000 if he wins. Still, very few takers.

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A Bicyclops Built for Two - S2-E13

Trivia: When Leela is talking to Alkazar, in the morning after breakfast, he says "please, call me Al." A nod to Al Bundy from "Married With Children." Katey Sagal (the voice of Leela), played Peggy Bundy, the wife of Al. Later, they have Al sitting on a couch, and Leela having her hair done up, like in "Married With Children."

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Question: Has anyone counted how many rounds Skurge fires near the end? They seem like regular M16's with only a 30-round magazine in them, and it seems like he shot off more than 60 total rounds. Plus he said he got them from Texas, so it's not like they were enchanted Asgardian weapons. Or do the comics mention anything about earth bound weapons gaining some sort of extended/unlimited ammo capacity that this scene is a nod to?

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Couples Discount - S9-E15

Kevin Malone: Andy left a carton of milk in the fridge. So, I've been sneaking a little bit every day for the last three months. It's been yummy. But now, Andy's coming back. So, I guess it's good-bye, chunky lemon milk.

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New Guys - S9-E1

Kevin Malone: Angela's cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat ‘em. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.

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Michael's Last Dundies - S7-E20

Michael Scott: The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died, they didn't just cancel his show. They got Pierce Morgan to come in and do his show, and that way Larry lives on.

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Nepotism - S7-E1

Gabe: [headshot] I started dating Erin this summer. It has been, in a word, exquisite.
Erin: [headshot] Gabe is awesome. He has accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise. Thank God he's my boss because I would not have said yes to a first date...if I didn't have to. But...it's been great.
Andy: [headshot] Am I angry that Gabe stole my girlfriend over the summer? No. I've been through anger management, OK? So right now I am sitting on a nice beach at Cape Cod, gazing out across the whitecaps. Oh, look, it's a humpback whale. How pretty. He's eating Gabe.

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Whistleblower - S6-E25

Michael Scott: It's not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.

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Business Trip - S5-E7

Michael Scott: A concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure. And when you meet one, it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.

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Money - S4-E4

Pam Beesly: Now that I think about it, Angela and Andy might actually make a good couple. But I couldn't do that to Dwight...or Angela...or Andy.

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Fun Run - S4-E1

Michael Scott: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not, like, this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

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Fun Run - S4-E1

Michael Scott: I ran down Meredith with my car.
Ryan Howard: Oh! Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No, I was being negligent. But she's in the hospital, she's fine, recovering nicely. Tiny little crack in her pelvis. But she will be-
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes. It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy. We are fine.
Ryan: I don't, I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right, I'm sorry. What is "we're fine"?
Ryan: [sighs].

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Phyllis' Wedding - S3-E15

Michael Scott: Hi, I'm Michael Scott. And for the next 40 minutes, I am going to be your tour guide through the lives of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance. One of the great, seemingly impossible love stories of our time. My name is Michael Scott. Webster's Dictionary defines "wedding" as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well, you know something? I think you guys are two medals. Gold medals. For those of you who don't know me. I'm Michael Scott, Phyllis' boss.

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Casino Night - S2-E22

Michael Scott: And another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby Flenderson: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's...uh...you know, there's gambling and alcohol. And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And Hooters is catering. Is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: [long pause] Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, ever time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate, so much, about the things that you choose to be.

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Valentine's Day - S2-E16

Michael Scott: Well, here we go, on our way to New York. New York, New York. The city so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.

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Resurrection - S1-E9

Penny Robinson: Just so I'm clear, we spent the night in what is essentially an alien toilet?

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Impact - S1-E1

The Robot: Danger, Will Robinson.

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Family Ties - S2-E21

Continuity mistake: When Leo is in the office with Roger and hands him the thing from the gift basket, his right elbow is on the desk. When Roger knocks it out of his hand, his elbow is off the table, then back on.

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