Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
Hamm: Hey, do you want a S'more?
Scotty: Some more what?
Hamm: No, no. Do you want a S'more?
Scotty: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Hamm: You're killing me Smalls.
Gary King: Why don't you just get back in your rocket, and fuck off back to Legoland, you cunts!
Biff: Look, Lorraine, you walk out that door and I won't only cut off you, I'll cut off your kids.
Lorraine: You wouldn't!?
Biff: Oh, wouldn't I? First your daughter, Linda. I'll cancel all her credit cards. She can settle her debts with the bank all by herself. Your idiot son, Dave. I'll get his probation revoked. And as for Marty. Well, maybe you liked to have all three of your kids behind bars just like your brother Joey. One big happy jailbird family.
Lt. Mauser: At this point in time, yours truly was the object of a malicious prank. Now, can anybody in here tell me how this happened? [holds up his hands to show his palms covered in hair.].
Officer Mahoney: I can, sir. And if you don't stop that, you could go blind.
Computer: This ship will self-destruct in exactly ten seconds. Counting down. Ten, nine, eight, six.
President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?
Computer: Just kidding.
Mike Lowrey: We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.
Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.
Buster Scruggs: Misanthrope? I don't hate my fellow man, even when he's tiresome and surly and tries to cheat at poker. I figure that's just a human material, and him that finds in it cause for anger and dismay is just a fool for expecting better.
Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.
Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
Marty McFly: Calvin? Why do you keep calling me Calvin?
Lorraine Baines: Well, that is your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein? It's written all over your underwear.
Ray Stantz: Where do these stairs go?
Peter Venkman: They go up.
Barnabas Collins: What is your age?
Carolyn Stoddard: Fifteen.
Barnabas Collins: Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those child-bearing hips to good use, lest your womb shrivel up and die.
Secretary: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Regina: I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... So, just promise me you won't make fun of her! (00:01:00)
Agent Zoil: Motherfucking, titty-sucking two-balled bitch!