Vanellope von Schweetz: As your merciful princess I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be...executed.
Crowd of girls: What?!
Sergeant Calhoun: Well, this place just got interesting.
Barnabas Collins: What is your age?
Carolyn Stoddard: Fifteen.
Barnabas Collins: Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those child-bearing hips to good use, lest your womb shrivel up and die.
Tiffany: I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?
Hans: As Gandhi said...'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'. I believe that whole heartedly.
Bill: No it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy going to take out the eye of the last guy left whose still got one eye left? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Ghandi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come out and say it.
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
Vi Rose Hill: Quit it with those nails, Edward Scissorhands.
Cop 1: Well, look at this. Power windows, power seats. I bet you the thing cost 6 grand.
Agent J: Ah, yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.
Cop 2: Hey, what kind of work do you do? An individual of your... Particular ethic persuasion?
Agent J: Mmm...
Cop 1: Maybe he's a noted athlete.
Agent J: Mmmm! Yes. Starting forward for the Detroit Darkies.
Cop 1: Where'd you get the car?
Cop 2: And the suit?
Agent J: I stole them both. Uh, car from your wife, suit from your grandmother.
Schmidt: When did I get stabbed? That's AWESOME!
Gastornis bird chicks: When you drink water through your trunk, does it taste like boogers?
Ellie: Uh no... Well... Sometimes, Now let's move!
King Fergus: The ancients spoke of it. It is the heart of this fierce land. It is carried in the wind. Born of our legends and when we are put to the test, it is the one thing that we must always be.
Neil: So what do we do now?
Norman Babcock: Uhh... I... I - I really don't know.
Courtney: Yes you do, Norman. You've gotta get to that witch's grave.
Norman Babcock: But.
Courtney: But nothing, you listen to me, buster. We didn't turn away when Daleridge High was slaughtering our volleyball team, did we?
Norman Babcock: Yeah, we did.
Courtney: No, we didn't. I have cheered the un-cheerable, Norman. And I'm not letting you give up now.
Dante Spirou: Vanilla Ice banged grandma? That's fucking awesome.
Dave: Can you do it blacker?
Alex: What are you doing? Zebras can't drive. Only penguins and people can drive!
Alex Eilhauer: I feel like I'm drinking out of Chewbacca's dick.
Kay: He is everything. But I'm really lonely. And to be with someone, when you're not really with him can... I think I might be less lonely alone.
Armon: This right here is your brand new Volkswagen EOS.
Molly: Come on. Can't I ride my own bike to school?
Armon: Girls your age would jump up and down at the chance to drive this thing.
Molly: Well I'm not like most girls.
Armon: Brooke Stonebridge is.
Molly: Who's Brooke Stonebridge?
Armon: It's your new identity.
Molly: Are you serious? That's not a name, it's a gated community.
Armon: I really don't care.