Jonah Hill: Dear God, it's me, Jonah Hill... From Moneyball.
Frank Drebin: Hey, Rocco. Who's the old bag? She take one in the face?
Rocco: She's my mother.
Frank Drebin: Oh. Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. You must be very proud of him.
Mrs. Dillon: I am.
Truly Scrumptious: Well, Mr. Potts!
Caractacus Pott: What's wrong?
Truly Scrumptious: Now you'll have to marry me!
David Patrick: We stopped off for ice cream.
Winston: When the fuck did we get ice cream?
Frank: A mental mind fuck can be nice.
Hanson: Who's ready for a wing?
Dwight: Yours or the turkey's?
Hanson: Well, I know what you'd like. How about a leg?
Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!
Michael Jordan: What can you do?
Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.
Sylvester: And large.
Daffy Duck: And a dork.
Principal Jane Masterson: You can plunder my dungeon anytime.
Ned Gold: I'll bring my longbow.
Barry B. Benson: Ya like jazz?
Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: Overkill is underrated.
Ginny: I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I've had men who've loved me before, but not for six months in a row.
Commissioner Brumford: [On phone.] Hello? He did what? How many animals escaped? Oh, my god.
Frank: Hello, Commissioner. You're looking lovely this evening.
Commissioner Brumford: Do you realize that because of you this city is being overrun by baboons?
Frank: Well, isn't that the fault of the voters?
Virgil Malloy: Are you a man?
Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.
Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?
Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.
Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.
Turk Malloy: ...shit.
Stig: Just because you put your finger in your belly button and brown shit comes out don't mean it's your asshole.
Doc McGhee: I have managed the Scorpions, Bon Jovi, Skid Row, kiss. I had been dragged through the deepest shit with all kinds of mentally ill people. But I have never been through what Mötley Crüe put me through.
Hogan: Sister if you wanna bless em you bless em dry.
Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
Hitchhiker: Thanks for the ride, lady.
Bride: May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn't live a day without you. Cheers!