Best comedy movie quotes of 2003

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Movie Quote Quiz
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl picture Video

Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them... Three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to get yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?

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Elf (2003)

Elf picture

Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

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Bad Boys II picture

Mike Lowrey: We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.

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Love Actually picture

Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!

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National Security picture

Lawyer: So Mr. Montgomery, are you claiming there was no bumblebee present at the time of the incident?
Earl Montgomery: No, I'm not. There was a bumblebee present, man.
Lawyer: Oh, good.
Earl Montgomery: And there were birds chirpin'. There were dogs barkin'. Hell, for all I know, there was a chipmunk in the bushes, humping a turtle! You know you gotta be careful with them chipmunks. They'll hump anything!

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Bulletproof Monk picture

Kar: So, I figured it out, why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan so be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.

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Finding Nemo picture

Gurgle: Oh, the human mouth is a disgusting place.

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Scary Movie 3 picture

George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
Tom: Oh. I better tell her.
George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
Sue: Yes?
George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
Sue: Yeah.
George: She's dead!
Sue: Aah!
George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
Sue: My dog's dead?
George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!

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Under the Tuscan Sun picture

Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.

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The Fighting Temptations picture

Lilly: She is not a Christian. My mama said hollering in a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a Cadillac.

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The Cat in the Hat picture

Cat in the Hat: Don't worry, I have three plans. Plan A: Mess up a perfectly clean house. Done that! Plan B: Cut your losses and ditch the kids. That could work.
Sally: What about that one?
Cat in the Hat: Plan C: Trick Mom's boyfriend into handing over dog and lock. I don't know. I still like Plan B.

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The Cheetah Girls picture

Galleria: If he can't respect my art, he can't have my heart.

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Bringing Down the House picture

Howie Rottman: I'd like to dip you in Cheez Wiz and spread you all over a Ritz cracker, if I'm not being too subtle.
Charlene Morton: Boy, you some kinda freaky.
Howie Rottman: Oh, you have no idea. You got me straight trippin', boo.

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Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over picture

Juni: I never even got her e-mail address.

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Kangaroo Jack picture

Louis Booker: Don't worry, Charlie. We'll get the money back, all right? He can't go far.
Charlie Carbone: It's a continent, Louis. He can go very far.
Louis Booker: I know it's a continent. I read the book.
Charlie Carbone: Did you happen to read the chapter on not putting your jacket on a wild animal?
Louis Booker: No, but I did read the chapter on how an aborigine can kill a white man with a twig. Do you want to see that one?

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Bruce Almighty picture

Grace: Oh my God!
Bruce: You can call me Bruce.

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The Rundown picture

Hatcher: I suppose now we have a conversation where you enlighten me. How many more of you are out there? Enlighten me. Where are the rest of your compadres? Enlighten me.

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The Lizzie McGuire Movie picture

Kate: How many Lizzies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hmmm, I don't know, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation.

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Something's Gotta Give picture

Julian Mercer: When something happens to you that hasn't happened before, don't you at least have to find out what it is?

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