Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
Nick Parker: You two help Meredith.
Meredith Blake: Sure you'll help me. Right over a cliff, you'll help me.
Hallie Parker: Not a bad idea.
Annie James: Yeah, see any cliffs?
Prince Henry: I have been born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations.
Leonardo da Vinci: Horseshit.
Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.
Patch Adams: You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.
Queen Elizabeth: Have her then, but you're a lordly fool: she's been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you. Takes a woman to know it.
Emperor: The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.
Shang: Sir?
Emperor: You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty.
Eddie: Oh, and if Tom or anyone else for that matter feels like givin' them a bit of a kickin', I'm sure it won't do any harm.
Soap: Yeah, little bit of pain never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fuck-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
Tom: Soap, is there something we should know about you?
Bacon: I'm not sure what's more worrying. The job or your past.
Bride's father: Hey, pal. I'm not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I'm paying you to sing.
Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don't. SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!
[Alejandro draws his sword.]
Don Diego de la Vega: Do you know how to use that thing?
Alejandro: Yes. The pointy end goes into the other man.
Adele: Hey bank robber! Hey, want some advice? Next time keep the engine running.
Major Chip Hazard: If it lacerates or detonates, I want it mobile and I want it lethal.
Person in Theatre: Do you mind?
Frank Navasky: A hotdog is singing. You need quiet while a hotdog is singing?
Odette: Up your ziggy with a wa-wa brush.
Mighty Mack: The suit's real neat, but do I have to wear the hat?
Elwood Blues: These are unsophisticated men. They only respond to fear and the draw of lucre. We elicit this by using iconographic symbols, and psychological intimidation. The way we look together presents a uniform image of strength and organization. Don't say anything. Look mean. No smiling.
Scarface: [Pointing at people] Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!
Billy Brown: Just look like we are a married couple, spanning time.
Bobby Boucher: Now that's what I call high quality H2O.