Mac: Look, you want to know the secret to a happy marriage? Do what I do. Plaster on a fake smile, plow through the next half century, sit back, relax, and wait for the sweet embrace of death.
Topper Harley: My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but... It's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo... Eat apple sauce through a straw... Pork farm animals.
Anastasia Steele: You may call me Mrs. Grey.
Beth: It's not even my date and he still gets me out of my skirt!
Phil: I killed myself so many times I don't even exist anymore.
Mollie: Grandpa, what's going on?
Grandpa: Look, I'm a hostage.
Burly Orderly: He's not a hostage. He's a mean old bastard! You see what he did to my arm? And he gave the nurse a black eye.
Humbert: I missed you. I missed you a lot.
Lolita: Well I haven't missed you. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. But it doesn't matter, because you don't care about me anymore anyway.
Humbert: What makes you think I don't care about you?
Lolita: Well you haven't kissed me yet, have you?
Teddy Lloyd: A man with a wife and six children plus a schoolgirl for a mistress can be called any number of rude names, but "coward" is not one of them.
Emma Horton: Some people say Des Moines is the best city in Iowa.
Calamity Jane: Excitement? Why, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine has got stickers.
Rob Gordon: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
Lindsey Meeks: You don't see us tangled up in the sheets with the Eiffel Tower in the background. You see the Mariners are coming in, and Pedro's pitching Friday.
Ben: No, on Saturday. Schilling's Friday.
Mouna Khalil: This feels like Syria.
Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper': I'm not saying a word. Not one single word.
Annie Reed: Now that was when people knew how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was.
Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.
Simon Templar: Do you know what the worst part about being you is?
Ivan Tretiak: What.
Simon Templar: Pretending to be so bad in bed.
Ivan Tretiak: You son of the bitch.
Mr. Azae: You don't care whether you impress people or not, do you?
Richard Sumner: You wait until you get my bill. You'll be impressed.
Police Inspector: Doctors... Lawyers... Never get past 60 thousand rupees. He's won 10 million. What can a slumdog possibly know?
Jamal Malik: The answers.