Jake: The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch, and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.
Bernard: Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up.
Mrs. Bhamra: What family would want a daughter-in-law who can run around kicking football all day but can't make round chapatis?
Voice: There's someone in here.
Christina: Sorry.
Voice: It might be a while.
Christina: How long?
Voice: Let me put it to you this way. I had Lamb Curry last night and I'm shitting out a Buick.
Courtney: Was it absolutely vital for her to tell us that?
Sister Madeline: If we can create this life with what imagination, why not the next?
Jamie: Are you trying to seduce me?
Landon: Why? Are you seducible?
Marisa: The first time you saw me, I was cleaning your bathroom floor! Only you didn't see me.
Chris: What was I supposed to do, introduce myself while I'm taking a leak?
Will: Once you open your door to one person anyone can come in.
Cinderella: I was a dish maid when the prince married me. And he loves me because I'm me.
Diego Rivera: Thank you.
Frida Kahlo: For what?
Diego Rivera: For making a fat, old, crazy Communist a happy man.
Doctor Doppler: Just wait until we tell your mother about this! Of course, we may downplay the life-threatning parts.
Lanie: I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.
Cal: What like Espn?
Lanie: No, he had ESP! There's no N.
Van Wilder: I know Ms Pacman is special. She's cute...she's fun...she swallows.
Helen Wade: Would you like anything?
George Wade: I'd love some Milk Duds.
Helen Wade: We don't have any, I could send out for one.
George Wade: Oh, no, don't be ridiculous. If you're going to send out, get a whole box.
Lady Bracknell: Well, I must say, Algy, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or die. This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd.
Sam: What thousands must die, so that Caesar may become the great.
Jerome Davenport: "Regard without ill-will despite an offense." That's Webster's definition of forgiveness.
Antwone Fisher: Why do I have to forgive?
Jerome Davenport: So you can get on with your life.
Mr. Crummles: Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.
Angus Tuck: Don't be afraid of death Winnie, be afraid of the unlived life.
Burt Holloway: You are the child of god's holy gift of life. You come from me. But you are not me. Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.
Lee Holloway: [Smiles.] Thank you Daddy.