Sam: Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing!
Marilla Cuthbert: Every baby is the sweetest and the best.
Howard: Your grandmother's boyfriend is a first-class ass sniffer! And you can tell him that I said so.
Mrs. Thompson: Is that the foot-long?
Nick: And then some.
Perry White: I want the name of this flying whatchamacallit to go with the Daily Planet like bacon and eggs, franks and beans, death and taxes, politics and corruption.
The Judge: By the way, that's a shame about your face.
Hatchet-Face: There's nothing the matter with my face. I got character.
David: I thought we were invincible. But now I know that the things that people in love do to each other, they remember. And if they stay together, it's not because they forget. It's because they forgive.
Katherine: I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.
Frank Dixon: You could have any man you wanted... why Viktor Navorski?
Amelia: That's something a guy like you could never understand.
Queen Elizabeth: Have her then, but you're a lordly fool: she's been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you. Takes a woman to know it.
Gaston: How can you read this? There's no pictures!
Belle: Well, some people use their imagination.
Willow: What are you doing?
Madmartigan: I found some blackroot. She loves it.
Willow: Blackroot? I am the father of two children and you never, ever give a baby blackroot.
Madmartigan: Well my mother raised us on blackroot. It's good for you. Puts hair on your chest. Doesn't it, Sticks?
Willow: Her name is not Sticks. She's Elora Danan, the future empress of Tir Asleen and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest.
Mrs. Fenty: You should read the Bible, Mr. Rumson.
Ben Rumson: I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty.
Mrs. Fenty: Didn't that cure your appetite for drinking?
Ben Rumson: No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin'.
Rachel: Well, you don't look like a bodyguard.
Frank: What'd you expect?
Rachel: Well, I don't know, maybe a tough guy?
Frank: This is my disguise.
Mrs. Bhamra: What family would want a daughter-in-law who can run around kicking football all day but can't make round chapatis?
Teeny: Chrissy, truth or dare?
Chrissy: Truth.
Teeny: Have you ever been french kissed?
Chrissy: Are you kidding? I don't want to get pregnant!
Roberta: You can't get pregnant from french-kissing!
Chrissy: I know that, beetle-brain, but it's common knowledge that if you tongue-kiss a boy, he automatically thinks you'll do the deed with him. They can't help it. They're driven. It's the male curse.
Terry Fields: Jesus, what a night.
Jamie Randall: I need you.
Maggie Murdock: Please go away.
Jamie Randall: I drove a really long way to say that!
Maggie Murdock: What, am I supposed to be impressed?
Jamie Randall: I don't know, yes?