[Alan is explaining to Sarah why Van Pelt is chasing him.]
Sarah: Well, have you ever thought about sitting down and talking about your differences?
Alan: What are you, crazy? The man has a gun.
Sarah: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan. Ever. Because everyone in this town has been calling me crazy ever since I told the cops you were sucked into a board game.
Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.
Arley: I want to wear the green dress.
Trevor McKenney: You look like a vampire in that.
Marilla Cuthbert: Every baby is the sweetest and the best.
Queen Elizabeth: Have her then, but you're a lordly fool: she's been plucked since I saw her last, and not by you. Takes a woman to know it.
Mrs. Fenty: You should read the Bible, Mr. Rumson.
Ben Rumson: I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty.
Mrs. Fenty: Didn't that cure your appetite for drinking?
Ben Rumson: No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin'.
George Armstrong Custer: Walking through life with you, ma'am, has been a very gracious thing.
Prof. Wutheridge: For some time now, every time I pass the cemetery, I feel as though I'm apartment hunting.
George: Excuse me, sir, can I help you? Oh, Mr. Swinton, I didn't recognize you.
Stewart: I'm here to see Miss Alden, George.
George: Well, I'm afraid I'll have to call. May I ask your business with Miss Alden?
Stewart: My business is pleasure, George. Does she look like the fuck of the decade or what?
Lilly: She is not a Christian. My mama said hollering in a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a Cadillac.
Teeny: Chrissy, truth or dare?
Chrissy: Truth.
Teeny: Have you ever been french kissed?
Chrissy: Are you kidding? I don't want to get pregnant!
Roberta: You can't get pregnant from french-kissing!
Chrissy: I know that, beetle-brain, but it's common knowledge that if you tongue-kiss a boy, he automatically thinks you'll do the deed with him. They can't help it. They're driven. It's the male curse.
Jamie Randall: I need you.
Maggie Murdock: Please go away.
Jamie Randall: I drove a really long way to say that!
Maggie Murdock: What, am I supposed to be impressed?
Jamie Randall: I don't know, yes?
Brooke Dalton: It's possible, isn't it? It's possible that you could meet somebody who's perfect for you even though you're committed to somebody else.
Nick Vaughan: No, no, see, I think if you're committed to somebody, you don't allow yourself to find perfection in someone else.
Bella Swan: You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?
Luther Heggs: Calm? Do "murder" and "calm" go together? Calm and murder? Murder?
Mrs. Thompson: Is that the foot-long?
Nick: And then some.
The Lord of Darkness: You think you have won! What is light without dark? What are you without me? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal.
John Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin.
Russell Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!