Robert Kincaid: This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime.
[Alan is explaining to Sarah why Van Pelt is chasing him.]
Sarah: Well, have you ever thought about sitting down and talking about your differences?
Alan: What are you, crazy? The man has a gun.
Sarah: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan. Ever. Because everyone in this town has been calling me crazy ever since I told the cops you were sucked into a board game.
Teeny: Chrissy, truth or dare?
Chrissy: Truth.
Teeny: Have you ever been french kissed?
Chrissy: Are you kidding? I don't want to get pregnant!
Roberta: You can't get pregnant from french-kissing!
Chrissy: I know that, beetle-brain, but it's common knowledge that if you tongue-kiss a boy, he automatically thinks you'll do the deed with him. They can't help it. They're driven. It's the male curse.
Alberto Aragon: Just because I talk with an accent doesn't mean I think with an accent.
Cher: Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter.
Kate: Spasm! Spasm! Oh, God, here it comes... lactose intolerance.
Hester Prynne: I wonder if existance as a woman is worthwhile at all.
Dr. Kosevich: I've got it! Nurse, call the Anesthesiologist, this woman needs an enema.
Samuel, Rebecca, Nurse: An enema?
Dr. Kosevich: No, uh, she needs a pedicure.
Nurse: This ain't no goddam beauty parlor.
Dr. Kosevich: Epitath.
Samuel Faulkner: She's not dead, you moron.
Dr. Kosevich: Epidermus... Uh.
Rebecca Taylor: Epidural, asshole.
Sera: So, Ben with an "N " what brings you to Las Vegas? Business convention?
Ben Sanderson: I came here to drink myself to death.
Bernadine Harris: The worst thing is that he made me move out here where my children are in school with only one other black kid so they won't be improperly influenced. Well, guess what John, YOU'RE the motherfuckin' improper influence! Get your shit! Get your shit! And, get out.
Arthur Rimbaud: The only unbearable thing is that nothing is unbearable.
Margaret: Oh, please don't say anything important.
Wyly King: All of our friends complain about how their kids grow up and run off and they never hear from them anymore. Why the hell can't that happen to us?
Pocahontas: It would've been better if we'd never met. None of this would have happened.
John Smith: Pocahontas, look at me. I would rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you.
Max: Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy: 'Cause, I don't want you to end up in the electric chair.
Baby Sinister: The fact of the matter is by the year 2000 every city will be black. Thanks to the fax, the modem, conference call, federal-fking express, the beast will be able to conduct his business from his home in the white suburb leaving the city a great wide warzone full of nuclear brothers.
Rooster: That's what I'm saying man, the fax, modem, FTD.
Baby Sinister: What the fk you talking about, FTD?
Rooster: You got to have flowers in the warzone, Baby.
Lucy Shepherd: Do you see it as part of your job to torture me?
President Andrew Shepherd: No, just one of the perks.
Morgan: Stop your chatter and say something Latin-ish.