Vivian: Oh...Look honey, I have a runner in my pantyhose. Oops! I'm not wearing panty hose!
Woman at elevator: Shut your mouth, dear.
The Judge: By the way, that's a shame about your face.
Hatchet-Face: There's nothing the matter with my face. I got character.
Pop: I'm from a small town called "Fresh Off a Cop's Ass", and you're making me homesick.
Tim Daland: I had sponsors in from all over the coast and I'm hugging, and holding hands, and praying for a good showin'. And what do we do? We end up looking like a monkey fucking a football out there. Everybody out, please.
Molly Jensen: Carl, are you all right?
Carl Bruner: It's just my stomach! Do you have anything like Pepto Bismol or something like that?
Sam Wheat: Cyanide.
Sylvia: Edward is a wonderful person, but something keeps me from saying yes.
Vera Bennington: Would that something happen to be a tall architecht?
Officer Allen: We're looking for the man with the hands.
Judy: Come on, I wanna know how you two met.
Nora: I picked him up in a bar. How's that?
Max: I was drunk, and she was drunk, and I liked her looks so I convinced her to let me bring her home, and I seduced her on the sofa bed, and it was magic, and I keep coming back for more.
Patricia: My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.
Nina: My Feet will want to march to where you are sleeping, but I shall go on living.
Christian: I'm tired of being my own rival.
Frank Sutton: So you're a tough guy, huh?
Harry Madox: No, you're the tough guy. I'm worse.
Bobby Duran: How many times have you lost everything Jack?
Brontë Mitchell Faure: We don't have to like each other. We just have to get married.
Mollie Ubriacco: Mommy is a girl, so I don't have a penis.
James Ubriacco: But she's got some set of balls.
Mollie Ubriacco: But Daddy is a big.
Mikey: Penis.
Susie Waggoner: So... are you gonna tell me about it?
Frederick J. Frenger Jr.: Yeah, I'm gonna tell you about it. This straight life we've been living gave me a false sense of security. For a second I thought I was some kind of solid citizen or something.
Susie Waggoner: All I wanna know is what happened to you.
Frederick J. Frenger Jr.: Some guy in a blue Toyota pickup ran me over.
Susie Waggoner: I thought it must've been something like that.
Lula: One of these days the sun's gonna come up and burn a hole clean through the planet like a giant electrical x-ray.
Sailor: I wouldn't worry about that, Peanut. By then people'll prob'ly be drivin Buicks to the moon.
