Richie Vento: Yeah, get me Hollycourt 55377. Hello, it's Daddy. Hey, darling. Put Mommy on the phone. Yeah, Barbara, it's Richie. Yeah lookit, I ain't never coming home no more. Take it easy.
Alex: David, please be rational. Let's go and see Dr. Hirsch.
David: Yeah, be rational. Sure. I'm a fucking werewolf, for Christ's sake.
Scarlett: I can shoot straight, if I don't have to shoot too far.
Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?
Bernard: Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up.
Amanda: You know, I was just thinking why would I ever leave before New Year's Eve? That makes no sense at all. I mean, you didn't exactly ask me out... but you did say you loved me... so I'm thinking I've got a date. If you'll have me.
Graham: I have the girls New Year's Eve.
Amanda: Sounds perfect.
Novalee Nation: What do you think? It took me a whole month to get back to my old size.
Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Oh, well, a little weight on a woman is no harm.
Margaret Tate: If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?
Helen: Orlando, what's going.
Orlando: I know you don't believe in fairy tales. But, if you did, I'd want to be your knight in shining armor. You've been through so much. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Now I may not be able to give you all that your used to. But I do know I can love you past your pain. I don't want you to worry about anything. You just wake up in the morning, that's all you have to do and I'll take it from there. There's one condition. You have to be my wife.
Danny Kaye: My friend, when what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting whatever it is you've got left.
Happy Gilmore: I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.
Estelle: When you love someone, you love all of them. You gotta love everything about them, not just the good things but the bad things too. The things that you find lovable and the things you don't.
Andy: I dated this girl for a while... She was really a... Nasty freak. She just loved to... Get down with... Sex all the time. It was like... Anytime of day... She was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty! And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! Cool!"
Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.
Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.
[Alan is explaining to Sarah why Van Pelt is chasing him.]
Sarah: Well, have you ever thought about sitting down and talking about your differences?
Alan: What are you, crazy? The man has a gun.
Sarah: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan. Ever. Because everyone in this town has been calling me crazy ever since I told the cops you were sucked into a board game.
[Trying to name other couples like Kirk and Molly.]
Devon: The president of France and that girl who went out with Mick Jagger.
Stainer: He knows about wine! And he has a French accent! He could probably french-kiss like a motherfucker.
Arley: I want to wear the green dress.
Trevor McKenney: You look like a vampire in that.