Happy Gilmore: I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.
Romeo Posar: Now THAT was a defining moment. And the definition was "shit."
Romeo: Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness, serious vanity, Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
Oribe's Receptionist: Don't bother with the cute face. I have 5 sons. You make eyes at me like that, I make you pot roast.
Rose Morgan: I don't feel anything, isn't that great! I never thought about how I would feel, I only ever thought about you. I only wanted to make you happy, I never thought I was good enough for you.
Alex: Oh but you are good enough for me, Rose, you are.
Rose Morgan: I know, I know, but Alex, you're not good enough for me.
Ma Wright: I know you didn't touch her, baby. I raised you better than that. The Lord must've been watching out over your stupid ass.
Darnell 'Deeny: Hey, I cut her off. She was into some crazy shit, mama. She was wild - buck wild.
The King: One day you are your father's property. One day you are your husband's property. It must be difficult.
Chance: Jamie? Is that you? Wait, what am I talking about? Of course, it's you! It's really you! I found you! I found my boy! I found my Jamie! Oh, I'm so happy! Oh, I could just lick you for days! Give me a hug.
Hamlet: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio - a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath bore me on his back a thousand times, and now how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung these lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were won't to set the table on a roar?
Hana: There's a man downstairs. He brought us eggs. He might stay.
Almásy: Why? Can he lay eggs?
Hana: He's Canadian.
Almásy: Why are people always so happy when they collide with someone from the same place? What happened in Montreal when you passed a man in the street? Did you invite him to live with you?
Lewis Farrell: They'll last longer if you put a little 7-Up in the water. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but, it works.
[Professor Klump struggles to fit into his chair because of his obese size, before finally getting in.]
Dean Richmond: Anything I can get for you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?
Grace Winterbourne: How did I ever raise such a snob?
Bill Winterbourne: It's a mystery Mother... let's ask the servants.
Mickey Fitzpatrick: Why are you getting so upset Dad? You don't even believe in God.
Mr. Fitzpatrick: That doesn't mean I'm going to stop being a good Catholic.
Abby: We can love our pets, we just can't love our pets.
Jan Nyman: Love is a mighty power, isn't it?
Nagiko: I am certain that there are two things in life which are dependable: the delights of the flesh and the delights of literature. I have had the good fortune to enjoy them both equally.
Freddie: I dream of being in a Las Vegas hotel where all of the towels smell like Downy Fabric Softener.