Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.
Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!
Terry: Time flies.
Gatsby Welles: Yes, unfortunately, it flies coach.
Terry: What's that supposed to mean?
Gatsby Welles: It's not always a comfortable trip.
Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.
Chad Danforth: Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box?
Troy Bolton: Who's Michael Crawford?
Chad Danforth: Exactly my point! He was the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Now, my mom, she's seen that musical 27 times and she put Michael Crawford's picture in our refrigerator. Not on it, in it. So, my point is if you play basketball, you're gonna end up on a cereal box. If you sing in musicals, you're gonna end up in my mom's refrigerator.
Troy Bolton: Why would she put his picture in her refrigerator?
Chad Danforth: One of her crazy diet ideas! Look, I don't have time to understand the female mind, Troy!
Doctor Flamond: You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth?
Nick Rivers: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
Young Shirley Valentine: Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday.
Mark Darcy: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.
Penny: Oh, come on, ladies. God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em.
Motormouth Maybelle: [to Seaweed and Penny.] Oh, so this is love? [She pauses and then smiles.] Well, love is a gift, a lot of people don't remember that. So, you two better brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid.
Penny Pingleton: [Totally serious.] So, you've met my mom?
Genie: I made you look like a prince on the outside, but I didn't change anything on the inside. Prince Ali got you to the door, but Aladdin has to open it.
Clerk: Do you swear on the Constitution of the United States to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Jive Man: Ain't no thing.
Defense Attorney: Would you describe, in your own words, what happened that night?
Jive Man: Check it, bleed. Bro was on! Didn't trip. But the folks was freakin', man. Hey, and the pilots were laid to the bones, Homes. So Blood hammered out and jammed jet ship. Tightened that bad sucker inside the runway like a mother. Shit.
Vivian: Oh...Look honey, I have a runner in my pantyhose. Oops! I'm not wearing panty hose!
Woman at elevator: Shut your mouth, dear.
Donna: I grew up.
Tanya: Well, grow back down then!
Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
Carlos: You son of a bitch! How could you do this? Friendship is the only choice in life you can make that's yours! You can't choose your family, God damn it - I've had to face that! And no man should be judged for whatever direction his dick goes - that's like blaming a compass for pointing north, for Christ's sake! Friendship is all we have! We chose each other. How could you fuck it up? How could you make us look so bad?
One Stab: Tristan died in 1963. The moon of the popping trees. He was last seen up in the North Country, where the hunting was still good. His grave is unmarked, but it does not matter. He had always lived in the borderland anyway, somewhere between this world and the Other.
Eric Draven: It can't rain all the time.