Truvy: Sammy is so confused he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.
Young Shirley Valentine: Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday.
Red Webster: Don't ever marry an ugly woman. Just sucks the life right out of you.
Richie Vento: Yeah, get me Hollycourt 55377. Hello, it's Daddy. Hey, darling. Put Mommy on the phone. Yeah, Barbara, it's Richie. Yeah lookit, I ain't never coming home no more. Take it easy.
Sebastian: Are you sure about this?
Scuttle: Have I ever been wrong? I mean when it's important.
Mollie: Grandpa, what's going on?
Grandpa: Look, I'm a hostage.
Burly Orderly: He's not a hostage. He's a mean old bastard! You see what he did to my arm? And he gave the nurse a black eye.
Harry Burns: How long do you like to be held after sex? All night, right? See, that's your problem. Somewhere between 30 seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally Albright: I don't have a problem.
Harry Burns: Yes, you do.
Vince: You've got only one life to live. You can either make it chickenshit or chicken salad.
Jim Court: You're not a permanent part of her life. You're a distraction.
Lloyd Dobler: I'm the distraction that's going with her to England, sir.
Frank Baker: I'm sorry. I'm a bit wound up.
Jack Baker: Frank, you're a fucking alarm clock.
Snyder: Okay, boys and girls, don't try this at home.
Zachary Hutton: If you think I'm such a failure, why do you keep on representing me?
Leon 'Sparky' Sparks: That's like asking a heroin addict why he keeps shooting up. It's because he keeps hoping for that first-time rush, that cherry high, even though he knows he'll never get it again. He's hooked and he keeps hoping.
Zachary Hutton: Watch out, I may surprise you.
Leon 'Sparky' Sparks: You watch out, I'm beyond surprises.
Pete Sandich: There's something fishy going on here, and I don't think it's the chicken.
Kate: Are you going to walk me home? Or should I just get murdered on my own?
Valmont: You want me to seduce a little girl, who has seen nothing, who knows nothing, who'll probably flop on her back out of simple curiosity? You don't need me for that. Anyone can do that.
Alexandra Page: I didn't even read the questions, I just took a number 2 pencil and filled in the bubbles as fast as I could.
Christopher Wooden: What did you put for sex?
Alexandra Page: Occasionally.