Ned: You better take me up on this quick. In about 45 minutes, I'm going to give up and go away.
Mr. Brooks: Before I was the Thumb Print Killer, I killed a lot of people, in a lot of different ways.
Turk: Do you like poetry?
Charles Randall: Yeah, I do. Roses are red, violets are blue. I wanna poke your fucking eyes out with my dick, you fuck.
Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... Or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Dr. Grace Hart: Shall we begin the autopsy? Dr. Grace Hart.
Watson: A woman doctor?
Holmes: Impossible. Fortunately we have a real doctor here.
Watson: Would you like some heroin?
Riggs: I can't shoot a dog. People? Okay, but not dogs.
Thomas Crown: Samba. Sugarloaf. Jungle. Piranha.
Lee Butters: You have the right to remain silent. So shut the fuck up. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we will provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on Earth. If you hire Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill you!
Romeo: Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness, serious vanity, Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
Linus Caldwell: What did I say?
Danny Ocean: You called his niece a whore.
Rusty Ryan: A very cheap one.
Danny Ocean: She's seven.
Mac: Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. But practice makes perfect.
Jack Colt: Who are you?
Mr. Jigsaw: I'm your worst nightmare.
Jack Colt: No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare.
[Woman checks the back pockets of Wally's pants for the coin.]
Wally: I don't know what you're looking for, but it's a little to the right.
Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
Big Jule: Well, I used to be bad when I was a kid, but ever since then I've gone straight, as has been proved by my record: Thirty-three arrests and no convictions.
Phil: I killed myself so many times I don't even exist anymore.
Prisoner: Always uses top grade hemp, Schmidt does. He oils it so it slides read good. Snaps your neck like a dry twig.
Dick Harper: Son of a bitch.
Jane Harper: That fucker.
Dick Harper: Hon, language.
Miklo: What am I going to tell my parole officer?
Popeye: Tell him to suck his pee-pee.