Sidney Prescott: You sicks fucks have seen too many movies!
Billy Loomis: Sid, don't blame the movies. The movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.
Archie Moses: This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.
Vanessa: Ho-ly shit! Well look who got beaten with the ugly stick. Bob, is that you? My God, I can't believe such an itty bitty gun could make such a big mess out of someone! You are so ugly Bob! Oh and hey I heard you have one of those poop bags where the shit comes out the side, you're just a big old shitbag aren't you Bob! I hope you think of me every time you shit in that thing, motherfucker!
Romeo: Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness, serious vanity, Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
Captain Fredricks: What part of "no" don't you understand, Strode? The "N" or the "O"?
Jake Tyler Brigance: There ain't nothin' more dangerous in this world than a fool with a cause.
Paul Castellano: Johnny's problem is that he's a street Neapolitan, huh? Always scheming. Worse than the Sicilians.
Samantha: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Hennessey: I hope not, coz I'm thinking about how much my balls hurt.
Marge Gunderson: So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper.
Ashe: Do you know what they call a gathering of crows, Curve? A murder. A murder of crows. Think about it.
Loc Dog: Well, I can see how a pretty little woman like yourself can make a man a little sick - I mean, nervous.
Ma Wright: I know you didn't touch her, baby. I raised you better than that. The Lord must've been watching out over your stupid ass.
Darnell 'Deeny: Hey, I cut her off. She was into some crazy shit, mama. She was wild - buck wild.
Robert Doob: What are you gonna do? Shoot me?
Karen McCann: You broke into my house with the intent to do me bodily harm. The law says I have the right to protect myself.
Robert Doob: What? You want me to say I'm sorry? It could have been anybody. I don't even remember what she looked like. It's nothing personal.
Karen McCann: She was seventeen years old. She was five-foot two. She had brown eyes. Her name was Julie. She was my daughter.
Robert Doob: She was a great f-f-f-fuck.
The King: One day you are your father's property. One day you are your husband's property. It must be difficult.
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: Now I've justified this to myself in all sorts of ways. It wasn't a big deal, just a minor betrayal. Or we'd outgrown each other, you know, that sort of thing. But let's face it, I ripped them off - my so called mates. But Begbie, I couldn't give a shit about him. And Sick Boy, well he'd done the same to me, if he'd only thought of it first. And Spud, well okay, I felt sorry for Spud - he never hurt anybody. So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.
John Finnegan: I will fuck you up if you fuck with me, ok? I know three kinds of Karate: Jujitsu, Aikido, and regular Karate.
Shad: You talk to her?
Erin Grant: Darrell's phone's disconnected. I think he moved again.
Shad: You know, I'd embrace the opportunity to maim his white ass up.
Erin Grant: I know you would, and that's really thoughtful, but I don't think it would help my case in court if I had him attacked.
Bill Clinton: In recognition of your great service, I'm appointing you honorary agents in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Butt-head: Whoa. Alcohol and tobacco?
Beavis: Yeah. And firearms! Yeah.
Bill Clinton: Cool, huh?
Butt-head: Cigarettes and beer kick ass.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. We're in the bureau of beer and fire and cigarettes. And maybe some chicks, too.