Commissioner Brumford: [On phone.] Hello? He did what? How many animals escaped? Oh, my god.
Frank: Hello, Commissioner. You're looking lovely this evening.
Commissioner Brumford: Do you realize that because of you this city is being overrun by baboons?
Frank: Well, isn't that the fault of the voters?
Red Webster: Don't ever marry an ugly woman. Just sucks the life right out of you.
Cyrus: Can you dig it?!
Frank Drebin: Hey, Rocco. Who's the old bag? She take one in the face?
Rocco: She's my mother.
Frank Drebin: Oh. Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. You must be very proud of him.
Mrs. Dillon: I am.
J. Daniel Atlas: Come in close. Closer. Because the more you'll think you see, the easier it'll be to fool you.
[Poe is looking out of the back of the plane at the DEA agent's car tethered to it, flapping about.]
Cameron Poe: On any other day, that might seem strange.
Selina Kyle: Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's not like you can just kill me...
Max Shreck: Actually, it's a lot like that.
G-Money: I had my jimmy waxed every day last week.
Virgil Malloy: Are you a man?
Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.
Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?
Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.
Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.
Turk Malloy: ...shit.
Paul Blart: Safety never takes a holiday.
Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?
Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?
Stig: Just because you put your finger in your belly button and brown shit comes out don't mean it's your asshole.
Johnny Tran: I'll see you in the desert next month. Be ready to have your ass handed to you.
Dom: You're gonna need more than that crotch rocket.
Johnny Tran: I got something for you.
Mr. White: If you shoot me in a dream you better wake up and apologise.
Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yeah but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yeah but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.
Lady Tanaka: Who sent you?
The Punisher: Batman.
O2: Where's your bathroom? I gotta shit.
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Melody: "Lightfoot"?
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Melody: Melody.
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?.. Hey, maybe we had the same father?