Danny Friedman: Everybody in this house needs a shrink.
Mike: Why would anybody want a phone without a keyboard?
Tim Ballard: Do you know there are 22 million new images of child porn on the internet? That's up 5,000% from just 5 years ago. 5000%.
Grandad: You are the only person in this life who gets to decide where you belong.
Kami: What do you want, sweetie?
Alphie: For robots to be free.
Kami: Oh. We don't have that in the fridge. How about ice cream?
Father: Thanksgiving is a time for appreciation. To celebrate with the ones that we love the most. And a time for all families to be together. Let's eat.
Uncle Rudy Reyes: You are the Blue Beetle. You are a superhero, cabron!
Christopher Robin: Pooh, you've got to help me. Something's wrong with Piglet, he killed my wife!
Gracie: Insecure people are very dangerous, aren't they? I'm secure. Make sure you put that in there.
Molly Evans: You know what? I don't care. I don't care. Let him win. He wins. It was a perfect murder. I just want to move on.
Adrian Monk: You could live with that? No, you couldn't.
Molly Evans: I'll learn to live with it.
Mason Pettits: I'd be so bad at being a dictator.
Dr. Godwin Baxter: My father once told me, Always carve with compassion. He was a fucking idiot, but it's not bad advice.
Peter: You got a dusty beaver here, ranger.
Ranger Liz: Yeah, well, I'm workin' on that.
Oliver Quick: Felix, can I talk to you for a second? You can't ignore me forever.
Felix Catton: I can try.
Oliver Quick: Felix, we need to talk. Felix, come on!
Felix Catton: Look, man, I tried to be nice but can you fuck off and bother somebody else?
Edgin: Were you killed in battle?
Corpse: Yes.
Edgin: Great! [To Simon] Four more questions, right?
Corpse: Yes.
Edgin: No, no, no, that wasn't for you. [To Simon] Did that count as a question?
Corpse: Yes.
Edgin: Dammit! Only answer when I talk to you, okay?
Corpse: Yes.
Simon: Why did you say "okay?" at the end of that?
Corpse: I didn't. [Collapses back into coffin.]
Edgin: Fantastic. Where's the shovel?
Dante: Hey dorks, what are we blowing up?
Dante: What? The Vatican? Wow. Bet you guys are going to hell.