Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.
Alice: I'm all ears. Well I'm not all ears... I'm face and tummy and legs and lots of other bits, including some rather private bits I only let a doctor see. Only he wasn't a doctor, and he got arrested soon after.
Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.
Michael Kyle: Well, guess what Junior? You're from the mean streets of Stamford, Connecticut.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Lou Grant: Put it on an idiot card for Ted.
Ted Baxter: Cue cards, Lou. I don't know why everyone insists on calling cue cards idiot cards.
Murray Slaughter: We just have trouble thinking of you as a cue.
Mike: Where's Vyvyan?
Rik: Well, he said he was going inside to water his plant. Strange that such a ruthless and sadistic maniac as Vyvyan should care for a begonia. Must have had it two years now.
Mike: And it was dead when he got it.
Rik: Yes... Still, give him his credit - he's watered it every day!
Mike: Only because he can't be bothered to go upstairs to the lavatory.
Adam Demamp: I'm like one of those dragons from Avatar.
Coach Toomey: Actually, Burdett never made the team.
Carl Kolchak: No?
Coach Toomey: You see, his butterfly stroke was like an effeminate moth.
Carlos: You know who you are, Gaby? You're the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.
Gabrielle: Well, they should have called ahead.
Escargoon: You Know, you're a real couch potato. You're as big as a couch and you're full of potatoes.
Nick Miller: You're a freaking gold digger, Jess.
Jess: Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I'd be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world.
Hank Moody: You're so beautiful you're almost ugly.
Captain Barney Miller: Arrest the first naked guy you see with a dirty mouth.
Shaggy: Scooby-Snacks won't work on me this time.
Daphne: Would you do it for a Shaggy-Snack? A little something I whipped up.
Shaggy: Huh? A Shaggy-Snack?
Daphne: Yes, it's a pot-pie, with pizza crust, anchovies, pepperoni, cherries, all in a thick chocolate sauce.
Shaggy: Hahahaha! I'll do it! I'll do it!
Lilo: Stitch! Are you okay?
Stitch: I'm okay. I'm fluffy.
Discord: 'What fun is there in making sense?"