Josh Nichols: Mom and Dad are gonna kill us.
Drake Parker: No they won't... they are gonna kill you.
Mork's Mixed Emotions - S1-E20
Orson: You opened the door to your emotions, didn't you?
Mork: Yes, Sir.
Orson: You realise you've broken the highest Orkan law. It is my duty to report you to the Council.
Mork: I understand. But I don't regret what I've done, sir. You see, for the first time in my life, I feel really alive, I feel fantastic! Oh, I wish you could try it! I wish you could feel some of the things I've been feeling!
Orson: Impossible. I could never do that. They'd throw me in prison.
Mork: Oh, I don't mean to be disrespectful, your immenseness, but until you can marvel at a rainbow after a storm or rejoice at seeing a baby walk for the first time, or hold someone and have them feel the same warmth inside as you feel close to them outside - until you can do these things, aren't you already in prison?
J.J.: So far this guy's only attacked supers. So he must have known somehow that Katie has powers.
Katie: How? I didn't even know I had powers. And also, how the hell do I have powers?
Dennis Reynolds: Charlie can't read.
Frank Reynolds: He'll adapt.
Dennis Reynolds: He'll adapt to reading?
Ray: Money doesn't grow on trees.
Tamera: Yeah if it did, I'd be outside rakin'.
Amanda Tanen: Can you believe he's asking Betty for dating advice? That's like asking Britney Spears for parenting tips.
Hank Kingsley: Can I ask you a question, can I? How would.
Larry: You're not going to go and come back, are you?
Hank Kingsley: How would you feel if I started dating Beverley?
Larry: I'd say it was your business, your life.
Hank Kingsley: Well I'm not into interracial dating, it never works - sex is good but in the mornign cultural differences start to raise their ugly heads.
Larry: I believe the cultural differences would occur with you and any woman Hank.
Swiss Toni: Putting up a tent is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Unzip the door, put up your pole, and slip into the old bag.
The Prince: Hello there, my bothers. I almost didn't see you. I am...the Prince of Persuasia! There are three steps to persuading women. Step number one: Trap your princess. Physically corner her in a room and eventually, your life. Step two: Insult your princess. Insult her face, her body, her brain, her car. The lower her self-esteem, the higher your chances, bro. It's been biologically proven, by me. Step three: Brag. Not lying, but close. Make up a story about how you single-handedly murdered a wild animal. Your story is going to release a hormone, deep inside her body, called "Insatia." It makes women ovulate. For sex!
Richard Bucket: Hyacinth, do you ever wonder why Sheridan shows very little interest in girls?
Tiger Woods: I always wanted to say this... fa-shizzle.
Shawn Spencer: The spirits tell me your little pants are on fire.
Hank: Calm down, Boomhauer! I can't understand a word you're saying.
Lord Bowler: Uh oh. You hit the sheriff.
Brisco County Jr.: Yeah, but I did not hit the deputy.
Jeff Bingham: Don't play dumb with me. It's a game you can't win.
Jim Reed: You just have to know how to arrest them and still make them like you. We call it technique.
Police officer: It's police policy not to waste resources looking for a missing person in the first 24 hours because they usually show up on their own, and after 24 hours, if they're still missing, it usually means they're dead and we don't look for them that hard then either.
Fred Flintstone: Where's your get up and go?
Barney Rubble: It just got up and went.
