Lou Grant: Put it on an idiot card for Ted.
Ted Baxter: Cue cards, Lou. I don't know why everyone insists on calling cue cards idiot cards.
Murray Slaughter: We just have trouble thinking of you as a cue.
Earthanasia AKA The End of the World Show - S7-E6
Bill: Christmases come, Christmases go. They're all the ruddy same - no one ever remembers them.
Felix Unger: Everyone thinks I'm a hypochondriac. It makes me sick.
Reuben Kincaid: What do eleven-year-olds do on a date?
Keith: I don't know. They can't neck, Danny doesn't have one.
Reuben Kincaid: Wish I'd said that.
Keith: Mmmm. Glad I did.
Ted Baxter: Say, Murray, I just read this item I think we should use. It's about a man who went on TV to make a plea to send Turkeys to convicts.
Murray Slaughter: For pets or for dinner?
Ted Baxter: I don't know! I think it was in Ar-Kansas.
Murray Slaughter: Yeah, I think they're doing the same thing in Arkansas too.
Ted Baxter: How do you like that! It's spreading from state to state!