Estelle: When you love someone, you love all of them. You gotta love everything about them, not just the good things but the bad things too. The things that you find lovable and the things you don't.
Male Anchor: There you have it, folks. Young love. Full of promise, full of hope, ignorant of reality.
Alphonso: To some people, love doesn't exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people.
Mailroom Danny: Dude, he's from Indiana. They only celebrate Love Your Cousin Day.
Reed Bennett: There's this girl.
Oversized Baggage Agent: Oh don't tell me, that'll take the fun out of guessing. Let's see, this is gonna be a tough one, there's a very pretty girl and she's about to get on a big airplane and if you don't stop her, she'll never know how you really feel.
Reed Bennett: Not exactly.
Oversized Baggage Agent: What am I missing?
Reed Bennett: If she gets on the plane, she's gonna find out the hard way that the guy that she thinks she's in love with is a spineless lying creep!
Oversized Baggage Agent: That's no good.
Reed Bennett: No, it is no good. And I can't let that happen. Because this girl, she is great! She's like... Like sunshine. Everything is better when she's there. I can't stand the idea of some jerk hurting her, I just can't. I can't.
Reed Bennett: Did you even consider marrying me?
Morley Clarkson: Of course I did... But when you ask a girl to marry you, do you want her to just consider it? Or do you want her to just know?
Reed Bennett: When I was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap. But there's one thing that he said that was pure genius... He said, if you're ever with a girl that's too good for you, marry her.
Liz: Thank you so much for last night, I had a blast, and there is fresh coffee for you in the kitchen.
Jason: I think I'm out of coffee.
Liz: Yeah you were, but I borrowed some from your neighbor. By the way she was very surprised that you had female company, she thought that you were gay. Don't worry, I set her straight.
Reed Bennett: What's the greatest love song of all time?
Alphonso: "Rock and Roll All Night, " by Kiss.
Reed Bennett: That's a stripper song.
Reed Bennett: You don't keep inklings to yourself! You share them! You're like hey guy, I got an inkling you're headed for a fall here! That's what friends do, that's common knowledge, it's in the damn handbook!
Dr. Harrison Copeland: What's there to hate?
Julia Fitzpatrick: Nothing, if you're a handsome, divorced doctor, but for the rest of us single women, it's kind of a giant cosmic bitchslap. It's like the universe saying, look, remember when you were fourteen and you had cystic acne and braces and you played the saxophone in the marching band and no one would invite you to the winter formal? Well nothing's changed.
Dr. Harrison Copeland: Oh, I would crawl over cut glass to take you to the winter formal. And then I would prescribe Retin-A for your skin.
Kelvin Moore: Listen, I'm a player. But I shut down my playerness from New Years to St. Patty's Day just so I can avoid this day.
Willy: I don't feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public.
Franklin: Valentine's day was a massacre in Chicago where lots of people were killed and they put a curse on the Chicago cubs.
Kara Monahan: My closest relationship is with my Blackberry. Thank God it vibrates.
Holden: Stalin once said, "No retreat, no surrender."
Kate: I think that was from a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.
