Cledus Snow: You can't drive a fork lift.
Bandit: I can drive any forkin' thing around.
Paula McFadden: I thought you said you were decent.
Elliot Garfield: I am decent. I also happen to be naked.
Connie: Are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?
Alvy Singer: I remember the staff at our public school. You know, we had a saying, uh, that those who can't do teach, and those who can't teach, teach gym. And, uh, those who couldn't do anything, I think, were assigned to our school.
Deedee Rodgers: Emma said some things. First, she said I married you and had a family with because I knew I wasn't good enough to go professional as a ballet dancer. That wasn't true. But... she also said I had a child with you to prove that you were straight. That was sort of true. I wanted.
Wayne: I know.
Deedee Rodgers: You... you do?
Wayne: Yeah. I guess I wanted to prove it myself.
Dr. Paul Moreau: You've been drinking for two straight days Montgomery. I suggest that you continue.