Best TV quotes of all time

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255 ★

Admiral Adama: So say we all.

Cheetor: We've got to stop them before they reach the base.
Ratrap: That's your department, Sky Cat. Fire up. We'll be right behind you.
Dinobot: My weapon is depleted.
Cheetor: I need a running start.
Ratrap: Criminy, the pair of ya! I've gotta DO everything?

Christopher Moltisanti: Whatever you do, do not engage Silvio in conversation.

Silly People - S2-E14

Carlos: You know who you are, Gaby? You're the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.
Gabrielle: Well, they should have called ahead.

Greg: You wanna have children?
Dharma: Yeah, unless you wanna have 'em.

The Cat Who Cried Wolf - S1-E7

Detective Gordon Katsumoto: Why are you following me?
Thomas Magnum: Uh...
Detective Gordon Katsumoto: Word of advice: if you wanna tail someone, don't do it in a red Ferrari. (00:30:00)

Sammo ★

Narrator: Centuries ago in Japan, Nighlok monsters invaded our world, but samurai warriors defeated them with power symbols, passed down from parent to child. Today the evil Nighlok have risen once again and plan to flood the earth. Luckily, a new generation of heroes stand in their way. They are the Power Rangers Samurai.

Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Shaggy: Scooby-Snacks won't work on me this time.
Daphne: Would you do it for a Shaggy-Snack? A little something I whipped up.
Shaggy: Huh? A Shaggy-Snack?
Daphne: Yes, it's a pot-pie, with pizza crust, anchovies, pepperoni, cherries, all in a thick chocolate sauce.
Shaggy: Hahahaha! I'll do it! I'll do it!

Quantom X ★

New Will City - S3-E1

Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.

Destro: Premature panic is the sign of an immature mind.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Got B.O.? Get DEO.

Pilot - S1-E1

Georgie: Admit it, he's adopted.
Sheldon: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
Missy: I wish I was adopted.
Mary: That can still be arranged.

Cubs Fan ★

Hercules: What are you doing here?
Iolaus: What do you mean?
Hercules: Iolaus, you're dead.
Iolaus: Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping you wouldn't notice.

Kill Zone - S1-E9

Lt. Horatio Caine: You're evil, you enjoy death, and I hope you enjoy your own.

Heart of Glass - S3-E16

Don Flack: I thought tonight was your night off.
Mac Taylor: My dinner date dumped me for a dead body.

This Is the Way the World Ends - S6-E12

Dexter: I am a father, a son, a serial killer.

Deputy Travis Junior: Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you know Jeff Gordon's gonna die.

Hank Moody: You're so beautiful you're almost ugly.

Season 2 generally

Discord: 'What fun is there in making sense?"