Mike: Where's Vyvyan?
Rik: Well, he said he was going inside to water his plant. Strange that such a ruthless and sadistic maniac as Vyvyan should care for a begonia. Must have had it two years now.
Mike: And it was dead when he got it.
Rik: Yes... Still, give him his credit - he's watered it every day!
Mike: Only because he can't be bothered to go upstairs to the lavatory.
Greg Sanders: For the record, I really like having a penis.
Day 6: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM - S6-E1
Jack Bauer: Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn't want to die for nothing. Today, I can die for something.
Cartman Gets an Anal Probe - S1-E2
Cartman: How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?
Chapter 24 - S2-E11
Frank Underwood: From the lion's den to a pack of wolves. When you're fresh meat: kill, and throw them something fresher.
Dori: Guns don't kill people.
Sledge Hammer: Yeah, bullets do.
Narrator: Centuries ago in Japan, Nighlok monsters invaded our world, but samurai warriors defeated them with power symbols, passed down from parent to child. Today the evil Nighlok have risen once again and plan to flood the earth. Luckily, a new generation of heroes stand in their way. They are the Power Rangers Samurai.
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Oh, thank you, helpful trail of clothes. I love you.
Discord: 'What fun is there in making sense?"
Adam Demamp: I'm like one of those dragons from Avatar.
1337: Well... I'm one heck of a mama myself.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Fiona Gallagher: Did the two of us finish an entire gallon of box wine the other night?
Darrin Stephens: Sam, don't expect your mother to be gracious. She doesn't do imitations.
Yankee White - S1-E1
Gibbs: I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
Kate Todd: Happy news travels fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
Gibbs: Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign.
Kate Todd: Is that a job offer?
Sarah: Does your mother know you write plays and things?
Saffie: No, and I don't want her to either, so don't say anything.
Sarah: Oh, you don't need to worry. I don't speak to her anymore. Not since she gave me that chemical peel.
Saffie: Well, it wasn't so much chemical. And not so much peel. She set fire to your pig-tails.
Sarah: It's a good job I'm thick-skinned... Well, except for the shoulder.
Kimmy Gibbler: My moves are all that and a bag of chips, so talk to the hand loser! Oh snap, you go girl! I think I just did.