Lou Grant: Put it on an idiot card for Ted.
Ted Baxter: Cue cards, Lou. I don't know why everyone insists on calling cue cards idiot cards.
Murray Slaughter: We just have trouble thinking of you as a cue.
Earthanasia AKA The End of the World Show - S7-E6
Bill: Christmases come, Christmases go. They're all the ruddy same - no one ever remembers them.
Firefly, Light My Fire - S1-E1
Sparky: I can't fly.
Harmony: But you're a firefly, fire...fly.
Sparky: I tried it once, scared me to death.
Col. Paul Foster: You know, death's never worried me before but right now I'm scared.
Ed Straker: You're getting older.
Col. Paul Foster: How do you mean?
Ed Straker: The older you get, the more precious life becomes. You become aware of what life is.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Whatever gave you the idea you could operate your own Lonely Hearts Club?
Danny: I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. What you said is, "Reuben needs a wife."
Reuben Kincaid: I need a what?
Tracy Partridge: I told them to get you a goldfish, but they wouldn't listen.
Felix Unger: What are you doing?
Oscar Madison: Sterilizing the wound.
Felix Unger: With beer?
Oscar Madison: It's got alcohol in it.
Murray Slaughter: Can you imagine the insurance claim? Cause of death: a busted goober.
Rod Serling: For those of you who've never met me, you might call me the under-nourished Alfred Hitchcock.