Cat Grant: All four of you standing there doing nothing, you look like the attractive yet non-threatening, racially diverse cast of a CW show.
Cheyenne: Attention shoppers, the store is now closed. Not 'bring your items to the front' closed, I meant like get the hell out.
Wilson Fisk: We all knew, that we would need to eliminate the Russians one day. They were too unpredictable.
Leland Owlsley: This from a guy, taking heads off with a car door. (00:11:20)
Ethan Burke: When you kill somebody in this town, they give you his job.
Dean Cathy Munsch: This year, Kappa will be required, to accept anyone who wishes to become a pledge.
Stephen Colbert: Do you have any awards or commendations?
Barack Obama: Well, I have almost thirty honorary degrees and I did get the Nobel Peace Prize.
Stephen Colbert: Oh, really? What was that for?
Barack Obama: To be honest, I still don't know.
Fernando Vera: People walk around, act like they know what hate means. Nah, no-one does, until you hate yourself. I mean truly hate yourself. That's power.
Walter Blunt: What would I do without you, Harry?
Harry Chandler: What would I do without you, Major?
Jimmy McGill: I'm the guy on your speed dial right after your weed dealer.
Brian Finch: You remember a lot more than you think you do. Every experience you've ever had, every idea that came to you in the shower and then slipped away while you were brushing your teeth... it's all there for the taking.
AKA The Sandwich Saved Me - S1-E5
Trish Walker: Fine, be the naked superhero. That could be your alias.
Jessica Jones: Better than the name you came up with.
Trish Walker: Jewel is a great superhero name.
Jessica Jones: Jewel a stripper's name! A really slutty stripper! And if I wear that thing, you're gonna have to call me Camel-toe.
Weird Knight - S1-E4
Caryn: Eric, I can not go out with this freak again. I had pancakes for dinner.
Eric: In what world is that a bad thing?