When You Wish Upon a Weinstein - S3-E22
Peter Griffin: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois. Because if I'm a child then you know what that makes you? A paedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.
My Problem With Popplers (a.k.a. The Problem With Popplers) - S2-E18
Fry/Bender: Pop a Poppler in your mouth, When you come to Fishy Joe's, What they're made of is a mystery, Where they come from, no one knows. You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em, And if you promise not to sue us, You can shove one up your nose.
President Josiah Bartlet: What's next?
Chocolate With Nuts / Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy V - S3-E11
Spongebob: Quick, Patrick. If you could have anything right now, what would it be?
Patrick: Um...more time for thinking?
Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.
Dr. Huang: I'm conflicted about labeling a ten year old a psychopath. But...
Don Cragen: "But"?
Dr. Huang: I've had a chill like that two times in my life. With death row serial killers.
Yokas: Forgot how many personal things I tell you. Guess I forgot how much I talk to you. You know? Because you weren't there for me to talk to. I miss you, Bosco.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Christopher Moltisanti: Whatever you do, do not engage Silvio in conversation.
Denny Blood: Oi, posh bitch. Is "arseholes" all one word?
Monica Lindsey: No, it's hyphenated. As in "arse-licker"
Sydney Fox: I'm talking about something much more serious than a curse! I'm talking about a crazy woman in a bustier.
Roger Smith: People are not ruled by their memories.
Linda La Hughes: Well, German's are very misunderstood people, Tom. Take Fritz' mum Helga, she'll sit on your face, as soon as look at you.
Papa Lazarou: Oh. You're my wife now.
Rika: I don't get it. Where could he have gone?
Henry: Not too far I imagine. Looks like he was hurt pretty bad.
Rika: It's his own fault. It wouldn't have been so bad if he had a partner.
Henry: Rika... you do have a heart.
Emmy: Definitely.
Johnny: Were all problems to be solved with apologies, we wouldn't need the marines!
Interior Decorator: Usually I'm so perceptive of people. Come on... what's changed?
Maxine: Two weeks ago my fiancée died of a heart attack 48 hours before we were to be wed. Also, I've cut my hair.
Edd: Ed no! You're too young to drive.