Best TV quotes of 1988

J.J. Jeffson: Well, you know what the Lord says: "Go forth and multiply, and fill the earth."
Bill Gillespie: But I don't think he meant for you to do that by yourself.

Alf Stewart: He's as crooked as a dog's hind leg.

Dear Mom and Dad - S1-E22

Roseanne: If my parents move to Lanford, I'm gonna be sleeping on a cot for the rest of my life because I'm gonna be in prison for blowing them away.
Dan: Honey, Honey, be realistic. You don't know how to use a gun. I'll do it.

raywest ★

Wayne Arnold: Butthead.

Michelle: What kind of human being are you?
Austin: When I was eight years old, I took off all my clothes and painted myself blue. Then I climbed up on the roof of a house, I placed both thumbs on the base of a lightning rod, and faced the electromagnetic north pole. Why? Why did I do that?
Michelle: How should I know?
Austin: Well, when you figure it out, then you'll know what kind of human being I am.

Stoke Me A Clipper - S7-E2

Lister: Get real, man. Most eunuchs have got more balls than you.

Gadget: I don't think you can blame them. After all, we are rodents.

The Honourable Teddy Meldrum: I don't want to marry Madge Cartwright. I want to marry her maid, Rose.