Frank Drebin: We're sorry to bother you at such a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then.
Mike: Where's Vyvyan?
Rik: Well, he said he was going inside to water his plant. Strange that such a ruthless and sadistic maniac as Vyvyan should care for a begonia. Must have had it two years now.
Mike: And it was dead when he got it.
Rik: Yes... Still, give him his credit - he's watered it every day!
Mike: Only because he can't be bothered to go upstairs to the lavatory.
Michael Knight: I need ya buddy.
KITT: Right away Michael.
Abraham Lincoln: It's well known that the more a man speaks, the less he's understood.
Remington Steele: Irresponsibility isn't a sickness - it's an art.
Alex P. Keaton: Mallory, someone stupid called... sometime today... about something trivial.
Mallory Keaton: Alex you know that could be any one of my friends.
Larry: Now behave yourself Darryl. There are only three ways to get a baby. By a woman, by adopting, or by a star in the east.
Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen: Heil Hitler.
Officer Crabtree: Hole Hotler.
Dr. Wayne Fiscus: I have a hunch.
Dr. Mark Craig: So did Quasimodo.