Jensen: Did you know that cats can make one thousand different sounds and dogs can only make ten? Cats, man. Not to be trusted.
Luther Heggs: Calm? Do "murder" and "calm" go together? Calm and murder? Murder?
Marion Harrington: I'm pregnant.
Richard Harrington: I smoke pot?.
Jacket Slogan: Live fast. Die clown.
Alfred: Could it be an old foe in a new disguise? Perhaps Catwoman?
Bruce Wayne: No. Even Selina Kyle has more regard for human life. This is someone entirely new, Alfred. The last thing Gotham City needs is some vigilante running amok.
Alfred: As they say in the streets, I ain't touching that one.
Donnie: Life isn't that simple. I mean who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love.
Kitty Farmer: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.
Donnie: Okay. But you're not listening to me. There are other things that need to be taken into account here. Like the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can't just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else!
Dr. Louise Banks: If you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?
Daphne Castle: The whole world knows that you are a man of enormous discretion.
Ed: Listen to me, dude, I'm having a really fucked-up, really wet, very bad fucking day.
David Percival: You can't un-fuck what's been fucked.
Turk: Do you like poetry?
Charles Randall: Yeah, I do. Roses are red, violets are blue. I wanna poke your fucking eyes out with my dick, you fuck.
Robert Englund: I think they'd like to see us together again.
Heather Lagenkamp: In what? A romantic-comedy?
Robert Englund: Just because it's a love story doesn't mean it can't have a decapitation or two.
Palmer Joss: What are you studying up there?
Ellie Arroway: Oh, the usual. Nebulae, quasars, pulsars, stuff like that. What are you writing?
Palmer Joss: The usual. Nouns, adverbs, adjective here and there.
Donnie: I asked her that myself one time. She said I was the only man in town that knew how to fuck.
David: You're disgusting.
Dr. Grace Hart: Shall we begin the autopsy? Dr. Grace Hart.
Watson: A woman doctor?
Holmes: Impossible. Fortunately we have a real doctor here.
Watson: Would you like some heroin?
Jamesir Bensonmum: She murdered herself in her sleep, sir.
Dick Charleston: You mean suicide?
Jamesir Bensonmum: Oh no, it was murder, all right. Mrs. Twain hated herself.
John Milton: So... have we been treating you well?
Kevin Lomax: Very well, thank you.
John Milton: And your wife? She had a good time?
Kevin Lomax: She sure has, it's been great. The whole thing's been great.
John Milton: That's our secret. Kill you with kindness.