Ace Ventura: Aaalll righty then.
Robert Englund: I think they'd like to see us together again.
Heather Lagenkamp: In what? A romantic-comedy?
Robert Englund: Just because it's a love story doesn't mean it can't have a decapitation or two.
The Judge: Deciding what is true and what isn't now seems to me...a lack of modesty.
Valentine: Vanity?
The Judge: Vanity.
Roy: Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, so sayeth the Psalms.
Judge Harry Roosevelt: That's Proverbs 12:22.
The Shadow: The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
Hector Martinez: If you don't tell 'em, I'll have to tell 'em. Am I the person to break the news to these people? 'Listen up you fuckin' daffodils. Your shrink is dead. Which means that all the time, effort and love you put in this relationship is wasted. You're gonna remain as fucked up as you are, or get worse.'.
Scrawny Teen: I can see.
John Trent: Excuse me?
Scrawny Teen: He sees you.
John Trent: Great, uh... tell him I say hi.
Claudette: I've told you, not to bother me before a show, or after a show. Or, at home in my bedroom, when I'm thinking about a show.
Chris Morrow: Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Excuse me?
Chris Morrow: KGB, for short.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Oh, come on! It's the KG-used-to-B.
Maurice L. Pogue: It's so nice seeing all your faces here: John and Susan and Mary and Fred and Ethel, Little Ricky.