Ace Ventura: Aaalll righty then.
Robert Englund: I think they'd like to see us together again.
Heather Lagenkamp: In what? A romantic-comedy?
Robert Englund: Just because it's a love story doesn't mean it can't have a decapitation or two.
The Judge: Deciding what is true and what isn't now seems to me...a lack of modesty.
Valentine: Vanity?
The Judge: Vanity.
Roy: Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, so sayeth the Psalms.
Judge Harry Roosevelt: That's Proverbs 12:22.
The Shadow: The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
Dr. Bill Capa: If I had known it was your birthday, I'd have come by tomorrow.
Hector Martinez: Me too.
John Trent: Your books suck.
Claudette: I've told you, not to bother me before a show, or after a show. Or, at home in my bedroom, when I'm thinking about a show.
Chris Morrow: Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Excuse me?
Chris Morrow: KGB, for short.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Oh, come on! It's the KG-used-to-B.
Maurice L. Pogue: It's so nice seeing all your faces here: John and Susan and Mary and Fred and Ethel, Little Ricky.