[Having pulled over a speeding driver.]
Mac: All right, how about Cat Game?
Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster: Ten? Starting right meow?
[They go up to the car.]
Driver: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
[The man gives him his license.]
Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.
Driver: [laughing.] Sorry.
Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
Driver: Oh, no.
Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
[Foster stares at him.]
Foster: All right meow, where were we?
Driver: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster: Am I saying meow?
Driver: I thought...
Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?
[The man laughs.]
Foster: Meow. What is so damn funny?
Driver: I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
[The man is uncontrollably laughing.]
Foster: You stop laughing right meow!
Driver: [Stops and swallows hard.] Yes sir.
Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.
[Rips off the ticket and hands it to the man.]
Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
[Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows.]
Foster: Meow!
Donnie: Life isn't that simple. I mean who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love.
Kitty Farmer: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.
Donnie: Okay. But you're not listening to me. There are other things that need to be taken into account here. Like the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can't just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else!
Jack the Ripper: I shall tell you where we are. We're in the darkest region of the human brain, a radiant abyss where men go to find themselves.
Netley: I don't understand, sir.
Jack the Ripper: Hell, Netley. We are in hell.
Joe Dirt: So, you're gonna tell me, that you don't have no black cats, no Roman candles, or screamin' mimis?
Kicking Wing: No.
Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You don't got no lady fingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zip-a-dee-do-dahs, crap flappers?
Kicking Wing: No, I don't.
Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a firework stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honker lighters, huskers dus, husker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whisking kitty chaser?
Henry Denton: Who is it?
Lottie: Oh, I'm ever so sorry, sir.
Henry Denton: Sorry for what?
Lottie: I'm supposed to get the fire lit without waking you.
Henry Denton: Why does everyone treat me as if I were one of these stupid snobs? I spent half the week downstairs with all of you.
Lottie: You can't be on both teams at once, sir.
Jean-Francois de Morangias: So tell me sir, do they speak of the beast in Paris?
Gregoire De Fronsac: Speak of it? They're already singing songs about it.
Geneviève de Morangias: Instead of singing songs, they should be saying prayers.
Geoff: After you start to feel thirsty, you find yourself feeling impatient, maybe even a little sick. And your pulse starts to go up, then there's the headaches, dizziness... when it gets bad, your vision will blur and you'll find it hard to walk and talk. Your tongue swells up, your skin shrivels, you twitch, you go deaf and then you die.
Bertha Mills: Sometimes, the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead.
Prot: You know what I've learned about your planet? There's enough life on Earth to fill 50 planets. Plants, animals, people, fungi, viruses, all jostling to find their place, bouncing off each other, feeding off each other. Connected.
Dr. Mark Powell: You don't have that kind of connection on K-PAX?
Prot: Nobody wants, nobody needs. On K-PAX, when I'm gone, nobody misses me. There would be no reason to. And yet I sense that when I leave here... I will be missed. Yes. Strange feeling.
Ray Coleman: I'm sick of you stalling me, Jack.
Jerry Black: I made a promise, Eric. You're old enough to remember when that meant something.
Principal Prickly: I never saw Philliam again. He quit teaching, went into politics, eventually became Secretary of Education, until the president fired him for trying to get rid of recess again. Only this time it was nationwide.
Hercule Poirot: She is an elderly lady. She has more strength in her will as in her arm.
Alex Cross: You do what you are Jezzie.
Jezzie Flannigan: You mean you are what you do.
Alex Cross: No, I mean, you do what you are. You're born with a gift. If not that, then you get good at something along the way. And what you're good at, you don't take for granted. You don't betray it.
Jezzie Flannigan: What if you do, betray your gift?
Alex Cross: Then you betray yourself. That's a sad thing.
David: You weren't invited.
Cowboy: When you see the girl in the picture that was shown to you earlier today, you will say, "this is the girl." The rest of the cast can stay, that's up to you. But the choice for that lead girl is not up to you. Now... you will see me one more time, if you do good. You will see me... two more times, if you do bad. Good night.
Gordon: What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?
Phil: You mean aside from coming to work for you?.. Well, I would have to say introducing Hank to Amy. That was pretty fucking stupid. I'd like to have that one back.
Betty Ann: So what, you always get your kicks fondling women's shoes?
C.W. Briggs: Once in a while I'll fondle a whole woman.
Bob: What do you play?
Romulus Ledbetter: My skull.