Phaneron

Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner - S11-E3

Homer: I don't need Lisa to write a good review. "The food at the Gilded Truffle really..." Uh, what's a good word?
Maggie: [Sucks on pacifier].
Homer: "Sucks." That's great. "And the bread was really..." Come on, help me out here.
Santa's Little Helper: Ruff.
Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.
Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?
Homer: "Chewy," that's inspired.

Phaneron ★

A Star is Burns - S6-E18

Lisa: What you doin' Ma?
Marge: I'm looking for a film critic to help judge our festival. Did you know there are over 600 critics on TV, and Leonard Maltin is the best looking of them all?
Lisa: Ew!

Phaneron ★

The Trouble With Trillions - S9-E20

Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman live at the Springfield Post Office on Tax Day. It's literally the 11th hour, 10:00 PM, and tardy taxpayers are scrambling to mail their returns by midnight. Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Otto: Taxes? Isn't this the line for Metallica?
Kent Brockman: Sir, uh, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Krusty the Clown: Because I'm an idiot. Happy?

Phaneron ★

Miracle on Evergreen Terrace - S9-E10

Mr. Burns: Does anyone have change for a button?

Phaneron ★

The Canine Mutiny - S8-E20

Bart: "Order by phone: 1-800," our phone doesn't go up to 800. Unless...

Phaneron ★

Homerpalooza - S7-E24

Abe: What the hell are you two doin'?
Barney: It's called "rockin' out."
Homer: You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're not "with it."
Abe: I used to be "with it," but then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm "with" isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you.

Phaneron ★

Bart's Friend Falls in Love - S3-E23

Milhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh, come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

Phaneron ★

Tree House of Horror IX - S10-E4

Ed McMahon: From the producers of "When Skirts Fall Off" and "Secrets of National Security Revealed," it's "World's Deadliest Executions."

Phaneron ★

Night of the Sentinels: Part 1 - S1-E1

Clerk: You must like to play cards.
Gambit: I like solitaire okay, 'less I got someone to play with.

Phaneron ★

A Rogue's Tale - S2-E9

Blob: It's Miss Marvel!
Ms. Marvel: That's "Ms. Marvel" to you, round boy.

Phaneron ★

The Old Man and the Key - S13-E13

Homer: Here we are: Branson, Missouri.
Male Charles Bronson Lookalike: No, pally. This is Bronson, Missouri.
Lisa: Well how do we get to Branson?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: Number 10 bus.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: Hey Ma, how 'bout some cookies?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: No dice.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: This ain't over.

Phaneron ★

Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet Daddy's nemesis: Austin Powers.
Scott: What, are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: No Scott, I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an over-elaborate and exotic death.
Scott: Why don't you just shoot him now? I mean, I'll go get a gun. We'll shoot him together. It'll be fun. Bang. Dead. Done.
Dr. Evil: One more peep out of you and you are grounded, mister, and I am not joking.

Phaneron ★

Rosebud - S5-E4

Smithers: Here are several fine young men who I'm sure are gonna go far. Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones.
Mr. Burns: Ah, these minstrels will soothe my jangled nerves.
Joey Ramone: I'd just like to say this gig sucks!
Johnny Ramone: Hey, up yours Springfield!
[The Ramones perform "Happy Birthday To You" for Mr. Burns.]
CJ Ramone: Go to hell, you old bastard!
Marky Ramone: Hey, I think they liked us!
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

Phaneron ★

Hungry Hungry Homer - S12-E15

Homer: Who are you?
The Spirit of Cesar Chavez: The spirit of Cesar Chavez.
Homer: Why do you look like Cesar Romero?
The Spirit of Cesar Chavez: Because you don't know what Cesar Chavez looks like.

Phaneron ★

Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Principal Skinner: The bake sale to raise money for the car wash has been canceled, due to confusion.

Phaneron ★

The Mansion Family - S11-E12

Homer: See that ship over there? They're rebroadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not expressed written consent.

Phaneron ★

A Star is Burns - S6-E18

Jay Sherman: Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9."
Charles Bronson: [Bedridden in a hospital.] I wish I was dead.

Phaneron ★

Neighbours - S8-E20

Tim: Al, why don't you tell us your favorite part of gardening?
Al: Well, I'd have to say it's getting down and dirty with my hoe.

Phaneron ★

Brains and Eggs - S1-E1

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: Please, Dr. Albright, we barely know each other.

Phaneron ★

You Only Move Twice - S8-E2

Hank Scorpio: Good afternoon, gentleman. This is Scorpio. I have the doomsday device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold, or you face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this. [Presses the button on a remote control, causing a bridge to collapse.]
U.N. Official #1: Oh my God, the 59th Street bridge.
U.N. Official #2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own.
U.N. Official #1: We can't take that chance.
U.N. Official #2: You always say that. I want to take a chance.

Phaneron ★