Phaneron

Better than Average Cory - S6-E5

Cory: I did a terrible thing. I mean, I did the worst thing that I could possibly do. I told my father he was average.
Shawn: I told my dad that once. He was thrilled.

Phaneron ★

Honesty Night - S5-E21

Mr. Feeny: If I may, five words: Topanga is correct.
Cory: That's only three.
Mr. Feeny: You moron!

Phaneron ★

Krusty Gets Kancelled - S4-E22

Anthony Kiedis: You told our agent this place holds 30,000 people.
Moe: It does. We had 30,000 here last night. Now play, the audience is getting restless.
Barney: We want Chilly Willy! We want Chilly Willy!
Bart: Hey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, would you guys like to appear on a Krusty the Clown special?
Flea: Sure, if you can get us out of this gig.
Bart: No problemo. Hey Moe, look over there.
Moe: [Turns around and looks at the wall.] What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothin'. [Bart sneaks the Red Hot Chili Peppers out of the bar.] I'm gonna stop lookin' soon. What? What, is that it?
Homer: Hey Moe, can I look too?
Moe: Sure, but it'll cost you.
Homer: My wallet's in the car.
Moe: He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.

Phaneron ★

Kill the Alligator and Run - S11-E19

Homer: Guess how many boobs I saw today, Marge. Fifteen.

Phaneron ★

Viva Ned Flanders - S10-E10

Homer: [Screams] The Moody Blues!
Graeme Edge: Cold-hearted Homer ditching his wife, while ancient Ned runs for his life.
Justin Hayward: Chips of red and blue and white, but we decide which...
John Lodge: Can the poems, it's ass-whooping time!
Ray Thomas: I want fatty!

Phaneron ★

The Canine Mutiny - S8-E20

Moe: You gotta give me back my floor. The customers are walking around on the pipes.
Repo Agent: Hey, next time pay your bills.
Moe: But I don't want to!

Phaneron ★

The Otto Show - S3-E22

Otto: Hey landlord, some clown changed my locks, padlocked the door, and put up an eviction notice.
Landlord: Yeah, that was me.
Otto: You!? But why?
Landlord: Because you haven't paid your rent.
Otto: Well, can I at least get my stuff?
Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard, and a couple of old cycle magazines.
Otto: Wow! I have mustard!?

Phaneron ★

Collect Call for Dick - S4-E4

The Columbian: I hear you're looking to, uh, liquidate.
Dick: Uh huh.
The Columbian: That's good, 'cause I'm looking to acquire.
Sally: Listen here lady, we're not giving these away. We're looking for top dollar.
The Columbian: Oh, I got top dollar. I got better than top dollar.
Dick: Well then by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?

Phaneron ★

Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole - S5-E18

Dick: You're just sitting there happy as an idiot in Idiot Land on "Idiots Get In Free Day!"
Harry: OK, there's no such land, and I would know.

Phaneron ★

Green-Eyed Dick - S1-E6

Jeff: It's an ancient Ukranian quilting thimble. There's some writing on the outside. I didn't have time to get it translated.
Mary: Well, you've been so busy with the book.
Dick: Oh uh, speaking of time, don't you have a meeting?
Jeff: Right. I gotta go. Bye.
Mary: I'm gonna have to find someone who can translate Ukranian.
Dick: Oh, that's not Ukranian, it's Turkish. Look, there's a diacritical mark over the "O." [Reads in Turkish.]
Mary: Well, what does it mean?
Dick: "May these always point me toward the spoils of war." This isn't a thimble, it's Turkish nipple armor.

Phaneron ★

And Then There Was Shawn - S5-E17

Topanga: Look, none of us is the killer. There has to be somebody else in here and there has to be another way out. Somebody has to find a way out.
Eric: Fine, I'll do it. I'm the oldest.
Jack: Actually, I'm the oldest.
Eric: Yeah, but I've lived the longest.

Phaneron ★

And Then There Was Shawn - S5-E17

Mr. Feeny: Now listen, this class will not be more interested in the romantic goings on of its students than it is with whatever the hell I'm teaching!

Phaneron ★

Cult Fiction - S4-E21

Eric: Which one of you brainwashed nuts validates parking?

Phaneron ★

Near Dick Experience - S4-E22

Dick: I am going to have a near-death experience if it kills me!

Phaneron ★

The Pink Flamingo Kid - S3-E17

Mr. Feeny: I'm frustrated to see two young men throw away a friendship.
Shawn: Yeah, well the way I see it Mr. Feeny, you don't need friends. OK, especially friends like him.
Mr. Feeny: Then who do you count on, Mr. Hunter?
Shawn: Family. Your family is always there for you. Come on, Mr. Feeny, a guy like you with no friends, you gotta know I'm right.

Phaneron ★

Life Lessons - S3-E18

Topanga: Cory, do not even try to call me for the next two weeks. I will be incommunicado.
Shawn: Wow, that's guts. We're studying and she's off to Mexico.

Phaneron ★

New Friends and Old - S3-E13

Shawn: Cory, are you alone?
Cory: No, I tried to get away on my bike, but Frankie jogged behind me the entire way. I mean, pound for pound, he's the fastest man on Earth.

Phaneron ★

Homer the Smithers - S7-E17

Smithers: I've got to find a replacement who won't outshine me. Perhaps if I search the employee evaluations for the word "incompetent." 714 names! Ha, better be more specific. "Lazy, clumsy, dimwitted, monstrously ugly." [The computer again displays 714 matches.] Ah, nuts to this. I'll just go get Homer Simpson.

Phaneron ★

Zemo: An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again, but one which crumbles from within, that's dead forever.

Phaneron ★

Hometown Hero - S3-E5

Connie: I'm going to get right to the point here. Has being a hero changed Cory?
Eric: Well you know, Connie, I've also got some birthday wishes. Gorgeous Edna Stein is 100 years young today. Happy birthday, Edna.
Alan: Eric, go to your room.
Eric: Uh, Dad, this is live TV.
Alan: I don't care.

Phaneron ★