Phaneron

Truth and Consequences - S3-E7

Mr. Williams: The assignment was to find me a news story. Now how is Jell-O news?
Shawn: When it's used for evil.

Phaneron ★

This Little Piggy - S3-E6

Eric: Alright, look Mr. Feeny, I have a question that I'm going to need a yes or no answer to. How many people get into Yale every year?
Mr. Feeny: No.

Phaneron ★

Dick vs. Strudwick - S4-E21

Don: Hey Dick, the movie starts in 20 minutes.
Dick: Don, I can't come. I'm in the middle of writing a groundbreaking book that'll bring the physics world to its knees.
Don: Oh. What's it called?
Dick: "Payback's A Bitch, Strudwick."

Phaneron ★

Post Nasal Dick - S1-E2

Dick: [Reading from "A Brief History of Time"] "The force-carrying particles exchange between matter particles are said to be virtual particles, because unlike real particles, they cannot be directly detected by a particle detector." The people on this planet will swallow anything [laughs].

Phaneron ★

Lisa the Simpson - S9-E17

Announcer: We now return to "When Buildings Collapse" on "Non-Stop Fox."
[Bart and Homer cheer.]
Bart: Hey Lis', wanna join us?
Homer: Room for one more.
Bart: We're watching the TV.
Narrator: Man has always loved his buildings. But what happens when the buildings say "No more!"?

Phaneron ★

Lisa on Ice - S6-E8

Jimbo: Nice PJ's, Simpson. Did your mommy buy 'em for ya?
Bart: Of course she did. Who else would have?
Jimbo: Alright, Simpson, you win this round!

Phaneron ★

Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Bart: You are never gonna guess what I saw at Martin's party after you guys left. You know that playhouse? Well, I...
Principal Skinner: Good gravy!
Cafeteria worker: Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water.

Phaneron ★

Tree House of Horror X - S11-E4

Professor Frink: In episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa. but in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a winged Arabian. Please to explain it.
Lucy Lawless: Ah, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it.
Professor Frink: I see, all right, yes, but in episode AG4...
Lucy Lawless: Wizard!
Professor Frink: Ah, for glavin' out loud!

Phaneron ★

He Said, She Said - S3-E4

Mr. Turner: Hey George, what's up?
Mr. Feeny: Well, I just wanted to be sure you knew that the Hunter boy missed his history test this morning.
Mr. Turner: He what?
Cory: Oh, that's my fault, my fault. I was supposed to tell you that Shawn had a severe case of, uh, help me out here.
Mr. Feeny: Sloth?
Cory: Yes, Hong Kong sloth.

Phaneron ★

What I Meant To Say - S3-E3

Mr. Williams: I'm here to teach you to find the truth in the media. Because there is a difference between what they say, and what is real.
Mr. Turner: That was very good. Watch this: Hunter, what did he just say?
Shawn: Something about Israel.

Phaneron ★

What I Meant To Say - S3-E3

Mr. Turner: Matthews, Hunter, stand up.
Shawn: I didn't do it.
Mr. Turner: Get up. Hunter, who's your best friend?
Shawn: You are, sir!

Phaneron ★

What I Meant To Say - S3-E3

Mr. Turner: Man, I'm sorry, Eli. I still think you would've made a great teacher though, man.
Mr. Williams: Why? I mean, I have nothing to say to kids. I don't even understand kids.
Mr. Turner: But you know how to communicate, man, and you know how to do it honestly.
Mr. Williams: And that's what got me fired from producing the 6 o'clock news. I'm trying to show people what's really going on with slumlords in Philadelphia, and the station manager is saying "Well, let's see more of that woman that walks to work naked."

Phaneron ★

Back 2 School - S2-E1

Frankie: Hey! [Picks Cory up and slams him against locker.]
Cory: What'd I do!?
Frankie: You were almost in my way.
Cory: [Looks over notes] You're Frankie Stecchino, right?
Frankie: Yeah, how'd you know?
Cory: [Reading notes] "Strong territorial sense."
Shawn: We were just looking for our homeroom.
Joey: [Points at locker] It's in there.
Shawn: In there?
Joey: Right there.
Shawn: Thank you. Thank you very much. [Opens locker] Hey, I'm the first one here. [Gets in locker and closes it.]
Frankie: And now for you. Why was you almost in my way?
Cory: You know, if I was in my homeroom, I wouldn't be anywhere near your way.
Frankie: Huh?
Joey: I think he's saying that if he was someplace else, he wouldn't be here.
Frankie: What? You sayin' I'm gay!?
Joey: No, no I didn't say that. Come on, let's finish him off.
Frankie; No, I need to be alone with my thoughts.

Phaneron ★

The Thrilla' in Phila' - S2-E21

Vader: Feeny, you can't tell me what to do anymore. I'm not one of your punk students. I'm the face of death!
Mr. Feeny: You were scarier when you had acne.

Phaneron ★

The Thrilla' in Phila' - S2-E21

Cory: Alright Joey, you want me, you got me.
Joey: Good. Tonight, midnight, the abandoned warehouse on 7th.
Cory: No, 4 o'clock, Feeny's backyard.
Joey: No, 8 o'clock, the abandoned shipyard by the pier.
Cory: No, dinner time, my kitchen.
Joey: Is it abandoned?

Phaneron ★

Turnaround - S2-E12

Mr. Feeny: Mr. Hunter, the girl in the white turtleneck, is that Ingrid Iverson?
Shawn: That's her.
Mr. Feeny: What on Earth has she done to herself?
Shawn: Oh, she didn't do it, we did. Cory and me.
Mr. Feeny: "Cory and I," Mr. Hunter.
Shawn: Oh yeah, sure, now everybody wants to take credit.

Phaneron ★

Me and Mr. Joad - S2-E4

Mr. Feeny: You know, you seem amused by this display of defiance, Mr. Turner.
Mr. Turner: Oh, I am, I gotta say. 'Cause if I had done to me what I did to them, then I'd have done the same thing to me that they did.
Mr. Feeny: Go to the board and diagram that sentence.

Phaneron ★

Me and Mr. Joad - S2-E4

Mr. Feeny: I realise that all you 7th-graders are delicate, adolescent flowers, just beginning your high school blooming. And so I say this with utmost sensitivity: take this test, or die!

Phaneron ★

Six Forgotten Warriors Chapter 2: Unclaimed Legacy - S5-E3

Silver Sable: I am not a criminal. I am merely a professional for hire.
Spider-Man: Which means you just work for whichever creep pays the most. I think I prefer these guys over here. Their dishonesty is more honest.

Phaneron ★

[Marv is being executed].
Preacher: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
Marv: Could you get a move on? I haven't got all night.

Phaneron ★