Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.
Marion Harrington: I'm pregnant.
Richard Harrington: I smoke pot?.
Alfred: Could it be an old foe in a new disguise? Perhaps Catwoman?
Bruce Wayne: No. Even Selina Kyle has more regard for human life. This is someone entirely new, Alfred. The last thing Gotham City needs is some vigilante running amok.
Alfred: As they say in the streets, I ain't touching that one.
Cat in the Hat: Don't worry, I have three plans. Plan A: Mess up a perfectly clean house. Done that! Plan B: Cut your losses and ditch the kids. That could work.
Sally: What about that one?
Cat in the Hat: Plan C: Trick Mom's boyfriend into handing over dog and lock. I don't know. I still like Plan B.
Louis Booker: Don't worry, Charlie. We'll get the money back, all right? He can't go far.
Charlie Carbone: It's a continent, Louis. He can go very far.
Louis Booker: I know it's a continent. I read the book.
Charlie Carbone: Did you happen to read the chapter on not putting your jacket on a wild animal?
Louis Booker: No, but I did read the chapter on how an aborigine can kill a white man with a twig. Do you want to see that one?
Galleria: If he can't respect my art, he can't have my heart.
Left Ear: We're in Italy. Speak English.
Frederick the Wise: The Roman Inquisition does not give hearings. It gives death sentences.
Juni: I never even got her e-mail address.
Scott 'Scotty' Braddock: I'm serious... You want to play cock of the walk, bro?
Deaundre 'Double D' Davis: Why do I think you want to call me something else? You want to call me something else, Scotty? 'Cause I don't think you get it. I can see you thinking it, whether you say it or not.
Emperor Meiji: I have dreamed of a unified Japan. Of a country strong and independent and modern. We have railroads and cannon, Western clothing. But we cannot forget who we are. Or where we come from.
Howie Rottman: I'd like to dip you in Cheez Wiz and spread you all over a Ritz cracker, if I'm not being too subtle.
Charlene Morton: Boy, you some kinda freaky.
Howie Rottman: Oh, you have no idea. You got me straight trippin', boo.
Dr. Josh Keyes: So what's this about then?
FBI Agent: We don't know. You have higher security clearance than us.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I have security clearance?
FBI Agent: Yes sir, we're just here to take you to your jet.
Dr. Josh Keyes: I have a jet?!
Hatcher: I suppose now we have a conversation where you enlighten me. How many more of you are out there? Enlighten me. Where are the rest of your compadres? Enlighten me.
Mack: Shame what this town's come to.
Charley Waite: You could do something about it.
Mack: What? We're freighters. Ralph here's a shopkeeper.
Charley Waite: You're men, ain't you?
Mack: I didn't raise my boys just to see 'em killed.
Charley Waite: Well you may not know this, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dying.
Brian O'Conner: You ready for this?
Roman: Come on, man. Guns, murderers and crooked cops? I was made for this, bro.
L.T.: I made him what he is, I can stop him.
Morgan: What are we gonna do?
Kemper: I don't know... uh... we gotta call the cops, I guess.
Morgan: Um, yeah, on a list of bad ideas, that one goes, way up there. Oh, police officers, please, as you inspect a crime scene, which is now our van, please, ignore the colorful pinata, filled with marijuana, in case you happen to come across it, because it played no part, you know, whatsoever in the demise of this unfortunate, young, woman.