Chris: T minus two hours. Bras off to avoid strap marks.
Celia: As we speak darling, as we speak.
Chuck: God only knows what that woman is capable of.
Grace: You know she's not capable of anything.
Detective Malloy: Some women give terrible blowjobs. No rhythm at all. No sense of cock whatsoever.
Walt: She's got mace.
Matt Lee Whitlock: Sometimes I think you want me to shoot you, Chae.
Le tueur: You drive a woman crazy. You little slut.
Tigger: Aww, I just love a hoppy ending.
Paul Rivers: I can't keep going like this. The insemination, the child. It's like we're trying to put a Band-Aid on something that's just been bled dry.
Mays: Yo, Lewis. Your mother's ass is so big, when she sits down she's three feet taller. Yo, Lewis. Your mother got a really big ass.
Advisor: Sir, I think it's time we prepare for a debate.
Senator Lewis: Give me one good reason to debate that jerk.
Advisor: He talked about your mother, sir.
Senator Lewis: So what?
[Senator Lewis' mother walks up to him and slaps him in the face.]
Mother: Are you just going to let him talk about me like that?
Mrs. Gibbons: Brian, I think you'd better go check that barbecue.
Jerry Lynch: You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man.
Missy Elliott: You, you need to call M.C. Hammer and let him know you're stealing his stuff. Ya'll two crazy people in here.
Terry Sheridan: You can break my wrist, but I'm still gonna kiss you.
Lou: So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. And I was like, you know 'Don't go there, ' you know. But he kept on about wanting to see some kind of a doctor's note or something. And I said 'Look, I'm seriously serious. You don't want to go there. He kept talking and talking and being such a nag, and I just blacked out. I blacked out. And I woke up, and I was standing over him and I was screaming "I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!"
Old Monk: Lust awakens the desire to possess. And that awakens the intent to murder.
Behrani: You have my respect for your heart.
Freddy Bender: Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness.
Judge Marva Munson: I'm going to allow it.
Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
Nathan Zuckerman: I'm writing a book... it's called 'The Human Stain'.