Lars Olfen: I had a garage band in Stockholm, which was a challenge in its own right, to keep an instrument tuned with that temperature swing. There's a block warmer for the Volvo in the garage but it's cold in there in the winter. So we played and I had a hit that you might have heard of. "Hur?r l?get, lilla gumman?" which means, "How's It Hanging, Grandma?" and it was big on the Swedish charts.
Tigger: Aww, I just love a hoppy ending.
Christian Markelli: I thought I'd rather die than be gay. I got a pretty good idea of what dying felt like. But lying there in the arms of that man, I thought if this is what being gay feels like... bring it on.
Kathy: I miss my dad. He worked really hard for that house... It took him... thirty years to pay it off. And it took me eight months to fuck it up.
Charlie Hinton: Hey, man, how did it go in there?
Max: ...I missed.
Charlie Hinton: He heh... what does that mean?
Max: I missed.
Charlie Hinton: Oh, hell, no.
Tess (in Anna's body): You pierced your navel?
Anna (in Tess' body): Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that.
Tess (in Anna's body): When did you do this?
Anna (in Tess' body): At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.
Tess (in Anna's body): Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.
Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
Old Monk: Lust awakens the desire to possess. And that awakens the intent to murder.
Sarah Morton: Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one.
Detective Malloy: Some women give terrible blowjobs. No rhythm at all. No sense of cock whatsoever.
Sgt. Nathan West: As some of you may have heard, there is a hurricane warning tonight. Well, Rangers do not wait on good weather. Rangers do not wait for bright sun shiny days. Oh, no. Rangers are trained to operate in the worst possible conditions, and takes those conditions and turns them against their enemies. You each have one rifle, one side arm, and one white phosphorous grenade. This is a live E&E, so please keep those weapons safetied, so you are not to shoot off your nonexistent dicks.
Ellis 'Zee' Pettigrew: Those Africans are my people too. For all the years that we have been told to stand down and stand by, you doin' the right thing.
Lt. A.K. Waters: For our sins.
Ellis 'Zee' Pettigrew: Hooyah.
Lt. A.K. Waters: Hooyah.
Chuck: God only knows what that woman is capable of.
Grace: You know she's not capable of anything.
Sally Weston: Paris, First Class, International.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave assaulted a female flight attendant in mid-air.
Stacy: Nice.
Gina: I bet you beat her good.
Dave Buznik: I didn't beat anybody. I touched a woman.
Chuck: Liar, bullshitter, you're a woman beater! And you can't admit it, because you're a deluded piece of garbage.
Dave Buznik: I don't know about all that but... now I know why you're here.
Theodore Banner: You're my creative team, create a reason to get rid of her or I'll create a new creative team.
Le tueur: You drive a woman crazy. You little slut.
Darrell: Eva's sisters gave her a cross with Jesus on it for her birthday, the next day Jesus was gone.
Marek: We're speaking the same language, but you don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?
Lady Claire: No.