Max Parry: Sometimes we have to behave the way other people think we should.
Angela Harris: Is that a fanny pack?
Steve Tobias: It's cute, isn't it?
Angela Harris: It's adorable.
Vermeer: Look at me. Now, turn your head. Not your shoulders. Look at me. There. That's it.
Snakehead: Treat him like a prince.
Leland: This one is something a friend of mine said to me. "You have to believe that life is more than the sum of its parts, kiddo." I remember it right now to the "kiddo" part. When I think about what she said, the same thing always comes into my head. What if you can't put the pieces together in the first place?
Meowth: Oh, they're stuck in a box with impending doom and no way out. That sounds like my life.
Alexander Kerner: The future lay in our hands. Uncertain, but promising.
Carol: Have you ever been involved with a little person sexually?
Steven Bedalia: No, just kid's stuff, you know? Y'know, all the kids would come over, we'd sit in a circle, play doctor and that kind of thing. Couldn't have been more than ten or twelve, so that doesn't really count.
Carol: So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would have loved to see that.
Steven Bedalia: You would like to see that.
Carol: Yes, I would.
Nino Paventi: How'd you get in here? The door was locked, the alarm system was on.
Lina Paventi: Nino, I'm Sicilian.
Jake Hopper: I liked you a lot better as a bitch.
Harrison: I'll fuckin' finish you off faster than a fuckin' birthday cake at a fat chick's fuckin' birthday party.
Ronald Reagan: If you don't mind, this administration has to pee.
Spike: I am Spike. Full name: Down, Spike, down! Get off that couch.
Dickie Roberts: May I help you? Was I being too loud in my treeehouse?
Patch: You lied to me?
Thunderbolt: I put on an act. I'm an actor. It's what I do.
Patch: But you said I could be your junior deputy.
Thunderbolt: I made all that up. I-I just needed someone who knew the script.
Patch: But you... You said that you'd help us.
Thunderbolt: Ohhh, don't you get it, kid? All that running around and saving the day stuff, it - it's make-believe! It's not real.
Lori Campbell: Hey. Gibb, what are you doing? I thought you were gonna quit.
Gibb: I only smoke when I drink now.
Kia Waterson: But you're always drinking.
Gibb: Yeah, well, I'll work on that next.
Roxy: You shouldn't accept expensive gifts from a man.
Isabel: Why?
Roxy: Because it puts you in a position of having to do what he wants.
Isabel: I'd do it anyway.
Desi Arnaz: I work hard, I play hard, I drink hard and I love hard.