Max Parry: Sometimes we have to behave the way other people think we should.
Guy Burgess: Vladivostok, Moscow, the Kusnetsk Basin, Cambridge - the coldest places on Earth. Of the four, Cambridge is the coldest, permanently February the nineteenth.
Deputy Scott Stubbs: This Jason Voorhees supposedly drowned at Camp Crystal Lake back in 1957 when he was 11-years old. The counselors weren't watching him. Then they made the mistake of killing his mother. Now legend has it that Jason kept returning from his grave to punish whoever returned to the Camp.
Natalie: I thought shit like that only happened in the movies.
Charley: Excuse the cryin'. I am a damn cryin' machine. That's why I drink so much water, won't have any fluids left in me. Have you ever been depressed?
William Gibbs: I've never not been depressed.
Alexander Kerner: The future lay in our hands. Uncertain, but promising.
Carol: Have you ever been involved with a little person sexually?
Steven Bedalia: No, just kid's stuff, you know? Y'know, all the kids would come over, we'd sit in a circle, play doctor and that kind of thing. Couldn't have been more than ten or twelve, so that doesn't really count.
Carol: So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would have loved to see that.
Steven Bedalia: You would like to see that.
Carol: Yes, I would.
Emma Dinsmore: "Ample bosom"?
Alex: What's wrong with that? It's literary.
Emma Dinsmore: Oh, well, in that case, you forgot the heaving.
Alex: The what?
Emma Dinsmore: In every book I've ever read, whenever there's an ample bosom, there's always heaving.
Alex: What?
Emma Dinsmore: You introduced the bosom. I'm just asking if you want them to heave.
Alex: Fine, let them heave.
Ann: No-one's normal, Mom. No such thing as normal people.
Aman Mathur: I have a theory about girls. The more you run after them, the more they will run away from you. But if you run away from them they will be confused and will run after you to find out the reason for their confusion. And we have to take advantage of such a confusion of a confused girl.
Rohit Patel: Even I'm confused.
The Devil: Hmm. You know what they say. In order for one to succeed, another must fail.
Store Clerk: Enough! You're it! And no touch backs, no do overs, no erasies, and this whole store is home free!
Harry: Lloyd, can he do that?
Lloyd: Oh yeah Harry. He can. He did. And now...it's on like Donkey Kong. Pay the man.
Harry: Pay the man.
Mrs. Emily Delahunty: In the garden, delphiniums were in flower. Through scented twilight, the girl in the white dress walked with a step as light as a morning cobweb. That evening she hadn't a care in the world.
Harrison: I'll fuckin' finish you off faster than a fuckin' birthday cake at a fat chick's fuckin' birthday party.
Elle: I'm here to speak for those who can't speak for themselves.
Maria Thins: He's no fool, mind you. And he won't be taken for one. So, don't think otherwise.
Blake Gardner: Thou movie, which art on screen, hallowed be they name. The time has come. Thou will be shown in theaters as well as home. Give us this day our daily film and forgive our bad choices, as we forgive those whose movies were so bad to choose. And lead us not into television, but deliver us from that evil, for movies are the picture and the sound, and the greatest thing in the whole wide world, forever and ever. Movies Rule.
