Elizabeth: Even the worst people can be nice to their friends, Jane.
Desi Arnaz: I work hard, I play hard, I drink hard and I love hard.
King: Sometimes, Jake, style can get you killed.
Louis: This morning, I thought I saw a cheeseburger doing yoga.
Susan: I can't even believe you'd bring that up right now. You were the one who picked the dates.
Daniel: Oh yeah, of my whopping two choices - this was the better date.
Max Parry: Sometimes we have to behave the way other people think we should.
Guy Burgess: Vladivostok, Moscow, the Kusnetsk Basin, Cambridge - the coldest places on Earth. Of the four, Cambridge is the coldest, permanently February the nineteenth.
Charley: Excuse the cryin'. I am a damn cryin' machine. That's why I drink so much water, won't have any fluids left in me. Have you ever been depressed?
William Gibbs: I've never not been depressed.
Alan Taylor: I just want to see some boobies.
The Devil: Hmm. You know what they say. In order for one to succeed, another must fail.
Liam Gallagher: Didn't like music then. Just played football and come in late for me tea. Knocked on people's doors and run off. Ran through people's gardens and pinched things.
Interviewer: What sort of things would you pinch?
Liam Gallagher: Clothes off the washing line. If I thought they looked pretty cool, I thought, "I'll have that." Mountain bikes. Lawnmowers.
Interviewer: You used to pinch lawnmowers?
Liam Gallagher: Yeah. And sell 'em. For weed.
Carol: Have you ever been involved with a little person sexually?
Steven Bedalia: No, just kid's stuff, you know? Y'know, all the kids would come over, we'd sit in a circle, play doctor and that kind of thing. Couldn't have been more than ten or twelve, so that doesn't really count.
Carol: So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would have loved to see that.
Steven Bedalia: You would like to see that.
Carol: Yes, I would.
Aunt Budge: I would kill for some diarrhea! I haven't had a bowel movement in 17 days.
Blake Gardner: Thou movie, which art on screen, hallowed be they name. The time has come. Thou will be shown in theaters as well as home. Give us this day our daily film and forgive our bad choices, as we forgive those whose movies were so bad to choose. And lead us not into television, but deliver us from that evil, for movies are the picture and the sound, and the greatest thing in the whole wide world, forever and ever. Movies Rule.
Steve Tobias: We're the CIA.
Angela Harris: Great, now I have to kill him.
Ann: You pray that this is your life without you.
Evan: Okay, you guys go, and we'll just stay here, Francine and.
Scott: And get high.
Evan: Yeah... so?
Blake: My best friend was just killed, Dad! So how about giving me some fucking space?