Gen. 'Stonewall' Jackson: In the Army of the Shenandoah, you were the First Brigade! In the Army of the Potomac you were the First Brigade! In the Second Corps of this Army, you are the First Brigade! You are the First Brigade in the affections of your general, and I hope by your future deeds and bearing you will be handed down the posterity as the First Brigade in this our Second War of Independence. God Speed.
Paul Rivers: We have lived on a fraud a long time.
Walt: She's got mace.
Ben: Hanging with her for 10 days is gonna be no problem.
Tony: Right. That's only nine days longer than you've ever spent with any other chick, huh?
Henry Dashwood: For me, it's just a stop on the campaign trail, and for Glynnis it's a chance to launch Clarissa on society.
Daphne Reynolds: Launch her? You make her sound like a ship.
Henry Dashwood: No, in Clarissa's case it's more like an intercontinental ballistic missile.
Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
Captain Spaulding: You miserable motherfucker, I ought to leap over this counter and bash your fuckin' balls in.
Killer Karl: All right, Tippy! Hand over the cash box, and I might leave your brains inside your skull.
Captain Spaulding: Well, I'll tell you what, Ski King. Why don't you just take your Mama home some chicken and then I won't have to stuff my boot all up in your ass.
Killer Karl: I don't like chicken! And I hate clowns.
Thomas Garrett: Oh, women. Can't live with 'em. Can't live with 'em.
Sgt. Nathan West: As some of you may have heard, there is a hurricane warning tonight. Well, Rangers do not wait on good weather. Rangers do not wait for bright sun shiny days. Oh, no. Rangers are trained to operate in the worst possible conditions, and takes those conditions and turns them against their enemies. You each have one rifle, one side arm, and one white phosphorous grenade. This is a live E&E, so please keep those weapons safetied, so you are not to shoot off your nonexistent dicks.
Jerry Lynch: You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man.
Father: How little you understand, Miss Ross. And how dangerous your ignorance has become.
Betty Ross: I'm sorry?
Father: Don't be sorry. My son is... unique. That's why you can't relate to him. And because he is unique, the world will not tolerate his existence. Will they? But you - you try. Don't you?
Ron Launius: What the fuck am I going to do with a microwave?
John Holmes: You can heat food with it.
Ron Launius: The only thing I want to heat up right now is some dope.
Kathy: I miss my dad. He worked really hard for that house... It took him... thirty years to pay it off. And it took me eight months to fuck it up.
Sarah Morton: When someone keeps an entire part of their life secret from you, it's fascinating and frightening.
Ruby: This world won't stand long. God won't let it stand this way long.
The Bishop: They came only to see, from the east and from the west, from the city and from the plain. They came not, in holy reverence to the lord, but in lust.
Old Monk: Lust awakens the desire to possess. And that awakens the intent to murder.
Molly Gunn: Excuse me, Thumbelina, but you're still a little underage to be clubbing, aren't you?
Ray: You're a little overage to be wearing a lampshade in your hair. Bright idea?