Ben: Hanging with her for 10 days is gonna be no problem.
Tony: Right. That's only nine days longer than you've ever spent with any other chick, huh?
Detective Malloy: Some women give terrible blowjobs. No rhythm at all. No sense of cock whatsoever.
Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
Jerry Lynch: You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man.
Captain Spaulding: You miserable motherfucker, I ought to leap over this counter and bash your fuckin' balls in.
Killer Karl: All right, Tippy! Hand over the cash box, and I might leave your brains inside your skull.
Captain Spaulding: Well, I'll tell you what, Ski King. Why don't you just take your Mama home some chicken and then I won't have to stuff my boot all up in your ass.
Killer Karl: I don't like chicken! And I hate clowns.
The Big Man: Rapists and murders may be the victims according to you, but I, I call them dogs. And if they're lapping up their own vomit, the only way to stop them is with a lash.
Grace: But dogs only obey their own nature, so why shouldn't we forgive them?
The Big Man: Dogs can be taught many useful things, but not if we forgive them every time they obey their own nature.
Sgt. Nathan West: As some of you may have heard, there is a hurricane warning tonight. Well, Rangers do not wait on good weather. Rangers do not wait for bright sun shiny days. Oh, no. Rangers are trained to operate in the worst possible conditions, and takes those conditions and turns them against their enemies. You each have one rifle, one side arm, and one white phosphorous grenade. This is a live E&E, so please keep those weapons safetied, so you are not to shoot off your nonexistent dicks.
Terry Sheridan: You can break my wrist, but I'm still gonna kiss you.
Lisa: She's a stupid bitch. She wants to control my life. I'm not going to put up with that. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that's it. What do you think I should do?
Joanie Fisher: And she's English?
Colin Ware: Welsh. Well, half Welsh.
Joanie Fisher: Half Welsh and half.
Colin Ware: Monster.
Missy Elliott: You, you need to call M.C. Hammer and let him know you're stealing his stuff. Ya'll two crazy people in here.
Freddy Bender: Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness.
Judge Marva Munson: I'm going to allow it.
Sally Weston: Paris, First Class, International.
Stills Photographer: Are you drinking, no?
Bob: Am I drinking? As soon as I'm done.
Charlie Hinton: Hey, man, how did it go in there?
Max: ...I missed.
Charlie Hinton: He heh... what does that mean?
Max: I missed.
Charlie Hinton: Oh, hell, no.
Darrell: Eva's sisters gave her a cross with Jesus on it for her birthday, the next day Jesus was gone.
Charles Townsend: Bosley, I hope the Angels aren't being too rough on you.
Bosley: Man, please. I date fat women. What you talkin' 'bout?
Matt Lee Whitlock: Sometimes I think you want me to shoot you, Chae.