Bob: What did you study?
Charlotte: Philosophy.
Bob: There's a lot of money in that racket. You just have to work out all the angles.
Le tueur: You drive a woman crazy. You little slut.
Bert: I'm gonna call it off.
Glen: I think you'd better.
Fritzi: Wait.
Bert: Fritzi, what in the hell are you doing here?
Fritzi: Well I... I knew you'd be discussing stopping the show and I just thought how disappointed all the kids would be after.
Bert: You scheming little bitch.
Fritzi: Oh please! I'm a child.
Bert: If you think for one.
Fritzi: Oh save the speech, rummy. She's fucked, I'm ready, and the goddamn show must go on. So let's get cracking, shall we?
Jim: Where's that scary albino when you need him?
Missy Elliott: You, you need to call M.C. Hammer and let him know you're stealing his stuff. Ya'll two crazy people in here.
Ben: Hanging with her for 10 days is gonna be no problem.
Tony: Right. That's only nine days longer than you've ever spent with any other chick, huh?
Detective Malloy: Some women give terrible blowjobs. No rhythm at all. No sense of cock whatsoever.
James Clayton: All I know about the CIA is that they're a bunch of fat, old white guys who fell asleep when we needed them most.
Captain Spaulding: You miserable motherfucker, I ought to leap over this counter and bash your fuckin' balls in.
Killer Karl: All right, Tippy! Hand over the cash box, and I might leave your brains inside your skull.
Captain Spaulding: Well, I'll tell you what, Ski King. Why don't you just take your Mama home some chicken and then I won't have to stuff my boot all up in your ass.
Killer Karl: I don't like chicken! And I hate clowns.
Tigger: Aww, I just love a hoppy ending.
PJ: If you jacked it, how come you got a receipt?
B-Rad: I stole that too.
Michael Corvin: I want to stay with you.
Darrell: Eva's sisters gave her a cross with Jesus on it for her birthday, the next day Jesus was gone.
Lars Olfen: I had a garage band in Stockholm, which was a challenge in its own right, to keep an instrument tuned with that temperature swing. There's a block warmer for the Volvo in the garage but it's cold in there in the winter. So we played and I had a hit that you might have heard of. "Hur?r l?get, lilla gumman?" which means, "How's It Hanging, Grandma?" and it was big on the Swedish charts.
Mays: Yo, Lewis. Your mother's ass is so big, when she sits down she's three feet taller. Yo, Lewis. Your mother got a really big ass.
Advisor: Sir, I think it's time we prepare for a debate.
Senator Lewis: Give me one good reason to debate that jerk.
Advisor: He talked about your mother, sir.
Senator Lewis: So what?
[Senator Lewis' mother walks up to him and slaps him in the face.]
Mother: Are you just going to let him talk about me like that?
Mrs. Gibbons: Brian, I think you'd better go check that barbecue.
Charlie Hinton: Hey, man, how did it go in there?
Max: ...I missed.
Charlie Hinton: He heh... what does that mean?
Max: I missed.
Charlie Hinton: Oh, hell, no.
Terry Sheridan: You can break my wrist, but I'm still gonna kiss you.
Lou: So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. And I was like, you know 'Don't go there, ' you know. But he kept on about wanting to see some kind of a doctor's note or something. And I said 'Look, I'm seriously serious. You don't want to go there. He kept talking and talking and being such a nag, and I just blacked out. I blacked out. And I woke up, and I was standing over him and I was screaming "I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!"
Cristina Peck: You know what I thought when mom died? I couldn't understand how you could talk to people again, how you could laugh... again. I couldn't understand how you could play with us. And no, no that's a lie, life does not just go on.