Rain: She bit me man! I mean she took a chunk clean right out of me!
Agent K: Is that standard?
Agent J: No it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
Pistachio Disguisey: Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle.
Jerome Davenport: "Regard without ill-will despite an offense." That's Webster's definition of forgiveness.
Antwone Fisher: Why do I have to forgive?
Jerome Davenport: So you can get on with your life.
Diego Rivera: Thank you.
Frida Kahlo: For what?
Diego Rivera: For making a fat, old, crazy Communist a happy man.
John Nichols: When the government turns tyrannical, it is your duty to overthrow it.
Michael Moore: Why not use Gandhi's way? He didn't have guns, and he beat the British Empire.
John Nichols: I'm not... familiar with that.
Mr. Crummles: Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.
John Klein: I think we can assume that these entities are more advanced than us. Why don't they just come right out and tell us what's on their minds?
Alexander Leek: You're more advanced than a cockroach, have you ever tried explaining yourself to one of them?
The Stranger: Let's proceed with caution. These madmen could eat us.
The Time Traveller: They liked your hair.
The Stranger: Of course, I'm a writer. Writer's always have good hair.
Joe Enders: Stay on my ass.
Lifestyle Journalist: Do you have anything you want to say to the other vampires listening out there?
Lestat: As a matter of fact, I do. Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Charlie Kaufman: To begin... To begin... How to start? I'm hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. Okay, so I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana-nut. That's a good muffin.
Jake Hayes: Does it play DVDs?
Seale: No. It's a portable thermonucular (sic) bomb.
Gordon Brewer: So, you want collateral damage, huh? I'll give you fucking collateral damage.
Cinderella: I was a dish maid when the prince married me. And he loves me because I'm me.
Frankie Delano: You ever read this book?
Bruno: Have I ever read that book? Not only does that insult my intelligence but it insults my ignorance. Why would a man like me, who happens to like himself, be caught dead reading a bit of boy toy fluff like that?
Frankie Delano: Because it's a killer.
Bruce: I hope you realize you've just committed assault.
Henry Desalvo: I know, I know. Time was, you actually had to hit somebody.
Lorne Daniels: Nobody wants you, not even the Clippers.
Laurie Strode: You failed, Michael. Want to know why? Because I'm not afraid of you. But what about you? Are you afraid of me? Are you afraid to die, Michael?
Ricky: We don't need reparations! We need restraint.
Billy: "Restraint"?
Ricky: "Restraint"! Some discipline! Don't go out and buy a Range Rover when you livin' with your mama! And pay your mama some rent! And can we please, please, please try and teach our kids something other than the "Chronic" album? And please, Black people, try and be on time for something other than free before eleven at the club.