Jerome Davenport: "Regard without ill-will despite an offense." That's Webster's definition of forgiveness.
Antwone Fisher: Why do I have to forgive?
Jerome Davenport: So you can get on with your life.
Bruce: I hope you realize you've just committed assault.
Henry Desalvo: I know, I know. Time was, you actually had to hit somebody.
Lorne Daniels: Nobody wants you, not even the Clippers.
Sy Parrish: And if these pictures have anything important to say to future generations, it's this: I was here. I existed. I was young, I was happy, and someone cared enough about me in this world to take my picture.
Mr. Crummles: Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.
Joe: The one thing, that guarantees our freedom and independence, is responsibility. We lost that somewhere between Vietnam and presidential blowjobs.
Reed Thimple: Do you like the sound of crunching wood? I do.
Angus Tuck: Don't be afraid of death Winnie, be afraid of the unlived life.
Lanie: I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.
Cal: What like Espn?
Lanie: No, he had ESP! There's no N.
Billy Flynn: Now look, I don't like to blow my own horn. But believe me. If Jesus Christ lived in Chicago today and if he had $5,000 and he'd come to me, things would have turned out differently.
Charlie Kaufman: To begin... To begin... How to start? I'm hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. Okay, so I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana-nut. That's a good muffin.
Dr. Ben Sobel: I am grieving. It's a process.
Diego Rivera: Thank you.
Frida Kahlo: For what?
Diego Rivera: For making a fat, old, crazy Communist a happy man.
Catherine: Suzon, I forgot one thing. I heard a strange sound. I looked through Augustine's keyhole, and I saw her standing at the mirror with something shiny. I thought nothing of it, but now I'm sure she was sharpening a knife.
Augustine: You liar! I was holding my mother-of-pearl comb and cleaning it.
Gaby: At 3:00 am?
Augustine: Combs never sleep.
Jay: If you decide you wanna know who you really are, come take a ride with me. If not, people are waiting for their TV guides.
Numérobis: Raté, vous nous avez raté! Eh les romains, vous êtes des romaines .
Conspiracy Brother: Jesus Christ: black man. Babe Ruth: black man. Madonna: ... slept with black men.
Jake: Just how I like 'em... all big and big-like.