Robin Williams: The poor Canadian snowboarder, in the 1998 Olympics, they took away his medal because he tested positive for marijuana, which is kinda redundant number one, number two, they said that marijuana was a "performance-enhancing drug." Marijuana enhances many things, colors, flavors, sensations, but you are certainly not fucking empowered. When you're stoned, you're lucky if you can find your own goddamn feet. The only way it's a performance-enhancing drug is if there's a big fucking Hershey bar at the end of the run. Then you'll be like a Swiss ski jumper going, "I'm there!"
Larry Hertzel: All I was doing was welcoming somebody into the family.
Roberta Hertzel: Larry, we've been welcomed by you, thank you so much, now would you please just drink your fucking milk and shut the fuck up.
Johnny Doyle: How about I tell you where you got your shoes. If I win, you give me a job. If I lose you can have my ring.
Merv: Deal. But you're never going to get that job, Johnny, and here's why. I bought these shoes on a cruise in international waters, so no matter what you say, you're wrong.
Johnny Doyle: But Merv, I didn't say I would tell you where you'd bought 'em, I said I'd tell you where you got 'em, and right now you got 'em on your feet.
Lady Bracknell: Well, I must say, Algy, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or die. This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd.
Angus Tuck: Don't be afraid of death Winnie, be afraid of the unlived life.
Bill: He was the only man I ever killed worth remembering.
Hannibal Lecter: So, you'll be wanting lots of these little chinwags, I take it.
Will Graham: I might not have time.
Hannibal Lecter: I do. I have oodles.
Jamie: Are you trying to seduce me?
Landon: Why? Are you seducible?
Will: Once you open your door to one person anyone can come in.
Iris Hineman: If the unintended consequences of a series of genetic mistakes and science gone haywire can be called 'invention', then yes, I invented Precrime. (00:57:50)
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: To follow your instincts and to inspire your men, by your example, you have to be with 'em. Where the metal meets the meat.
James Bond: Vodka martini, plenty of ice... If you can spare it.
Jimmy Smith Jr: You ever wondered at what point you gotta just say "f**k it, man." You ever wondered at what point you gotta stop livin' up here, and start livin' down here?
Reggie: You don't have a forehead... you have a five-head.
Dr. Scott: You don't want to hurt anyone.
Samara Morgan: But I do, and I'm sorry. It won't stop. Everyone will suffer.
Pancha: Like my grandmother used to say, "There's no better dressing than meat on bones."
Doctor Doppler: Just wait until we tell your mother about this! Of course, we may downplay the life-threatning parts.
Jonah: Something touched me.