Jake Hayes: Does it play DVDs?
Seale: No. It's a portable thermonucular (sic) bomb.
Jake Hayes: You didn't know chess was a contact sport, did'ja.
Roland Yates: If it breathes, it dies.
Gaylord Oaks: Welcome to Prague.
Jake Hayes: Looks like Newark.
Roland Yates: So, what are our chances?
Gaylord Oaks: Oh, I'd say anywhere between... nil and zero.
Roland Yates: Why do you say that?
Gaylord Oaks: Oh well, I grant you he's got potential. He's pretty street-smart. Give me six months, he could probably fool his brother's own parents. But eight days? Come on, you gotta be kidding me. He'll probably get himself killed, and everyone who goes along with him.
Jake Hayes: You guys still there?
Gaylord Oaks: Yes, Mr. Hayes, we're still here.
Jake Hayes: And you've got guns, right?
Gaylord Oaks: Yes, Mr. Hayes, we have guns.
Jake Hayes: Okay. Well, make sure you got bullets in them.
Gaylord Oaks: Mmm-hmm, lots of bullets.
Agent Wells: Vas' account number received, initiating wire transfer from Midlands National bank of bullshit. Man is Vas gonna be pissed when he goes to an ATM.
Lenka: Mr. Turner, it's so glad to have you back so soon.
Jake Hayes: Thank you, Lepenka, I hope you haven't given up my room.
Lenka: Certainly not, sir.
Jake Hayes: This is beautiful.
Gaylord Oaks: Her name is Lenka. You just called her Lepenka, which means cardboard.
Jake Hayes: In my foster house, we were so poor, we used to lick stamps for dinner.
Jake Hayes: Is this fish?
Nicole: Yeah, of course. You love fish.
Jake Hayes: That's right. I love fish, but that's before I became a vegetarian. Oh, waiter, waiter! I can't eat this. Can you get me something else? How about a steak, medium well, please.
Jake Hayes: I don't speak terrorist.
Jake Hayes: Is this shit dangerous?
Gaylord Oaks: Yes there's some risk.
Jake Hayes: What kind of risk, you talkin' bank credit risk, or bullet-in-ass risk?
Jake Hayes: So you're leaving me and going back to Ken, that's what I asked you.
Julie: The Ken part is just business.
Jake Hayes: Then what's the leaving me part, pleasure?
Julie: Pain.
Gaylord Oaks: I'm never going to get married, never again.
Jake Hayes: You never gonna get married again? First thing you gotta learn is, you don't take your girlfriend to a wedding.
