Christopher Titus: Cain slew Abel... oh, happy, happy Cain.
How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall? - S4-E8
Lenny: What are you wearing?
Midge: I'm wearing my show corset.
Lenny: You have a show corset?
Midge: Yes.
Lenny: How is this different from, say, your dentist corset?
Midge: It's much more likely to suffocate me. It's also prettier.
Lenny: Yep. It's always the pretty ones who try to kill you.
The Control Voice: It is said that if you move a single pebble on the beach, you set up a different pattern, and everything in the world is changed. It can also be said that love can change the future, if it is deep enough, true enough, and selfless enough. It can prevent a war, prohibit a plague, keep the whole world... whole.
Mark Gordon: Cute, Jonathan. Real cute.
DC Jo Masters: And have we found anything interesting?
CSE Eddie Olosunje: No, but I smell something interesting. Apricot danish?
DC Jo Masters: It's peach, and it's mine.
CSE Eddie Olosunje: Oh come on I've been here since 6am. Give us a bite and I'll tell you about a partial print I found?
Man in Black: This whole world is a story. I've read every page except the last one. I need to find out how it ends. I want to know what this all means.
Lawrence: See, now that's why I never learned to read.
Remington Steele: Irresponsibility isn't a sickness - it's an art.
Legend of the Dark Knight: 13 Stitches - S5-E6
Edward Nygma: [while Lucius Fox is removing the chip from his brain] Ow! Will you be careful?
Lucius Fox: If you'll stop moving, this will go a lot faster.
Edward Nygma: Well, if you would be more careful, I wouldn't potato all the long legs from the hidden spoon.
Barbara Kean: What just happened?
Lucius Fox: I believe the chip is installed against his speech center.
Barbara Kean: Huh. Do it again.
Lucius Fox: The human brain is not a play thing, Ms. Kean.
Edward Nygma: Please don't habituate the curtain rod.
Guarnere: Jesus Christ, we gotta do all this with a C.O. who has his head so far up his fuckin' ass, that lump in his throat is his goddamn nose.
Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: Do you think dying has made me morbid?
Scarlet Witch: This is our home now. I want us to fit in.
D.A. Wayne Wallis: I heard your university board has you on probation. Something about sleeping with a student?
Hayes Morrison: Students.
Wayne Arnold: Butthead.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: Is there anyone here who has a genuine medical problem?
Floyd: You can be the smartest man in the world - and for all I know, you are - but you will never understand women.
Todd Chavez: Hooray.
Mac: Time has little to do with infinity and jelly donuts.
Cpl. Gabe Garza: Semper Gumbi - always flexible.