Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie... It makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively TO clowns.
David Brent: If you want the rainbow you got to take the rain too. You know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.
Dave Brewer: Maybe we could pose with some stock... like the sheep.
Nick Ryan: Sure that'll look great! three naked guys and a paddock full of pregnant sheep.
Day 6: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM - S6-E1
Jack Bauer: Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn't want to die for nothing. Today, I can die for something.
Clare Edwards: What are you doing here?
Eli Goldsworthy: Hi Eli, how are you? Fine Clare thanks for asking.
Clare Edwards: Hi.
Guarnere: Jesus Christ, we gotta do all this with a C.O. who has his head so far up his fuckin' ass, that lump in his throat is his goddamn nose.
Sloane: Marshall, would you please go back to work?
Agent Marshall Flinkman: Just to clarify, I'm not being fired?
Sloane: Back to work means not fired.
Flavius Aetius: Let's make a bargain here and now, a treaty of peace between your people and mine.
Attila the Hun: I think that's the first sign of weakness I've seen you show.
Shalimar: I shouldn't have worn these pants. My underwear is riding up big time.
Emma: You're wearing underwear?
Shalimar: You're not?
Dr. Nigel Townsend: The bullet then continues up the arm to break the humerus, not very funny in this case.
Reba: I know what Kyra is doing.
Brock Hart: Like you did with Cheyenne?
Reba: Oh, one time! The one time our daughter gets pregnant and I never hear the end of it.
Ron Carter: In light of the severity of these crimes, we ask for remand, your honor.
Ms. O'Brien: In light of the weakness of their evidence, remand is absurd.
Ron Carver: The evidence past mustard with the grand jury.
Ms. O'Brien: Oh right, was my client indicted before or after the ham sandwich?
Nate: Why do you treat me like shit all the time, Brenda?
Brenda: Because I've had a really fucked-up life and I need sarcasm to hide how ridiculously miserable I am.
Niels Buckingham: I've felt the horrors of alcoholism myself. I was on a journey, the destination was Cambodia. I was going with high speed down the rollercoaster of life. Booze, gambling, voluptuous women, cockfights, pills, midgets and junior strip. Opium and mud wrestling against blind people. At last, it all became too much and I was expelled from Copenhagen Airport.
Eric Myers: Quantum Power.